Nine years...
It was nine years ago today that I gave up alcohol. That's a long time between cold beers. I didn't give it up easily or without a fight. That's the way addictions are. You go down swinging. And far down I had gone. From losing almost everything I owned and everything I was to almost losing my life, I had sacrificed everything for the next drink. It now seems completely crazy that a high achieving, positive personality, well educated individual could have come to that point. And it is insane but that's what unchecked chemical addictions will do...to anyone no matter his personal strength, character or best of intentions.

The entire story, like most, is a long one and you won't be bored with it here. But suffice it to say that I lived five or so years of sheer hell and that AA saved my life along with the help of friends and family. Not only saved it but embued in me an entirely different outlook on life based on gratitude for things both big and small. And not that this came easily either. Through those years of selfishness I had imagined that I could solve my problems alone and by my force of will. So I drove just about every human who offered help away. At some times the only true friend I had was my golden retreiver "Ranger". In no small way he helped save my life, giving me that one small spark to continue on so I could take care of him. Thus the name of my website Big Gold Dog.

AA is more well known and accepted today than in earlier times. Society has come to grips with the notion that addictions are a sad fact of life, and it is rare that any family today is not touched by them in some fashion. But AA is still somewhat misunderstood. As we say, it is not a program of promotion, but one of attraction. It is not about or against drinking or alcohol, it is about finding a way to live life on life's terms without alcohol or drugs for me or anyone else attracted to that notion. It is not about fighting the battle everyday, it is about giving up the battle entirely. Once I truly surrendered to the fact that I had lost control over alcohol the battle was over. I can honestly say that the hell I lived through was in most ways worth it. I see things as I did not before.

And finally a word of thanks and gratitude to all those who stuck with me during those dark ugly years and those who came later who gave me the opportunity to live a new life. This Pepsi's for you!

Not my Daddy's Army any more......
In a "slap in yo face!" for future blonde jokes and a kick in the butt for the Islamonazi's I hope that you will take a long look at this proud photo and then come back to read....the rest of the story.

Ok, a great picture.....and these proud Americans are a first. The first all female crew to man [no pun intended, it's just a word] a KC-135 aircraft in a combat zone. The women are: Clockwise from lower left) 1stLt Alison, Capts Heather and Waynetta, and Senior Airman Lyndi [Last names withheld for operational security.] of the 376th Expeditionary Air Refueling Squadron of Robins Air Force Base, Ga. The story in the press release reads.
--------------------------

......."They have been deployed here since Dec 9. Once inside the tanker, the women began their pre-flight and take-off duties with an ease borne of plenty of experience and skill. Most of them have deployed before, to places like Saudi Arabia, Qatar, Iceland and Thailand.

Between the four of them, they total almost 4,000 flying hours in the KC-135. The flight path to Afghanistan traversed three of the "Stans." The country itself remains a dangerous place. Just a few days before the historic flight, coalition forces on the ground encountered the heaviest fighting since Operation Anaconda last year. Norwegian F-16s from Ganci dropped munitions in support from the air.

Once over Afghanistan, the crew got down to business, refueling F-16s from the European participating air forces of Denmark, the Netherlands and Norway. Based at Ganci, the aircraft provide combat air support to coalition ground forces.

In the refueling world, the motto is, "Nobody kicks ass without Tanker gas." The crew emulated that motto when the boom operator connected two moving aircraft together on a night with 1 percent moon illumination.

"It's awesome knowing that I'm having a direct impact on the mission," said Lyndi on her 17th combat mission over Afghanistan. "The fighters couldn't put bombs on target without gas, and I'm the one who gets it to
them," she said. More than 50,000 combat missions have been flown in support of Operation Enduring Freedom.

In all, Lyndi refueled 10 European F-16s during the flight, off-loading 63,000 pounds of fuel. "I'm accomplishing something with my Air Force career," said Alison. This is especially true in the case of OEF, an operation that more than 1,800 women support, according to the public affairs office at Central Air Forces, the air component of U.S. Central Command.

"I've always thought the greatest thing I could do with my life was to serve my country and be willing to die for it -- for my family, my neighbors, people I don't even know," Waynetta said. "Now, we're here supporting troops in Afghanistan who are defending our freedom and way of life." Basking in the early morning sunlight, the tanker headed
back to Ganci. As the snow-capped mountains poked out above the clouds, the women reflected on the significance of the flight. "All we wanted was to fly together," said Lyndi. "I'm so excited we got to do it."

"We believe in equality," Waynetta said. "But, the fact of the matter is, we're still girls and we're doing something our grandmothers couldn't do."
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You go girls.....we're damn proud of you....no blonde jokes from me. The only question I have is, "Are you old enough to drive?"

Mid-East TV Guide...
Not wanting to appear to be culturally insensitive I thought I would publish this weeks TV fare for Middle Eastern readers.

SUNDAY
7:30 - My 33 Sons
8:00 - Osama Knows Best
8:30 - Let's Mecca Deal
9:00 - I Dream of Jihad
9:30 - The Kabul Hillbillies

MONDAY
7:00 - Husseinfeld
7:30 - Mad About Everything
8:00 - Monday Night Stoning
8:30 - Win Bin Laden's Money
9:00 - Allah McBeal

TUESDAY
7:30 - Wheel of Terror
8:00 - The Price is Right.... if Saddam Says It's Right
8:30 - Children are Forbidden from Saying the Darndest Things
9:00 - Taliban's Wackiest Public Execution Bloopers
9:30 - Buffy the Yankee Imperialist Dog Slayer

WEDNESDAY
7:00 - Beat the Press
8:00 - When Kurds Attack
8:30 - Two Guys, a Girl, and Pita Bread
9:00 - Just Shoot Everyone
9:30 - Veilwatch

THURSDAY
7:00 - Fatima Loves Chachi
7:30 - M*U*S*T*A*S*H
8:00 - Survivor Iraq [chemical attack episode-repeat]
8:30 - Married with 139 Children
9:00 - Eye for an Eye Witness News

FRIDAY
7:00 - Judge Saddam
7:30 - Suddenly Sanctions
8:00 - Who Wants to Marry a Terrorist Millionaire
8:30 - Cave and Garden Television
9:00 - No Witness Left Alive News

SATURDAY
8:00 - Spongebob Squareturban
8:30 - Who's Koran Is It Anyway?
9:00 - Teletalibans
9:30 - Camel 54, Where Are you?

If you know of any programs we have omitted please add them in the "comments" section.
**Courtesy of alert TeeVee viewer Don Dulin

Changes in Attitudes, Changes in Latitudes...
Whatever the final outcome of the campaign to rid Iraq and the world of a mass murderer, I sincerely hope that the leadership in the USA will at long last change the way we use our wealth and bounty. Since the end of WWII the US has been the leading nation in the world's supply of foodstuffs, medicine and humanitarian assistance to the more needy, if not unappreciative, flotsam on the globe. In truth, the reason was partially selfish and self serving. In the mid part of the twentieth century there was a serious and real threat that Russia and China would spread their communist influence to less developed and unstable nations. They did this by handing out money and protection. We needed to "compete" with the red menace for the affections of the disadvantaged by in effect buying their loyalty, or at least their compliance. Right or wrong, this was the way it was for 50+ years.

But the world has changed with the new millenium. In the Western World, Russia spent itself out, literally and figuratively, and their former client states are now thirsting for capitalistic democracy. In the East, China has made some small steps towards capitalism or at least a more moderate form of communism, while robust capitalism in Japan and Korea acts as a blunting force to whatever communistic urges may linger in the Red Dragon. The young people in China are on the Internet. They have had a taste of capitalist decedance...they won't go backwards. And for all the angst and blood over Vietnam, it is becoming more clear that it had the desired effect on ambitions of tyrannts in the East. We lost that campaign, but we are winning the war.

For several decades, I believe, the middle majority of America has had a gnawing feeling that the global pigs had been feeding at our trough for too long. In the past we could see the benefit of slopping the hogs to keep some order, if not status quo in the world. This has changed with the campaign against Saddam, visibly changed, and the middle of America can feel and taste it. The US supplies half of all the world's relief in the form of food supplies to the weak and wandering. Half. And we get 2/3rds of the worlds hate directed back towards us. We announce that we will contribute billions of dollars to help relieve Africa's AIDS sorrows and we are derided in the major capitals of Europe as having designs on conquering the world. Through monetary and military assistance to Turkey we have helped them in becoming a modern nation, and they repay this with a vote of no assistance, even though we are trying to rid them of a murderous neighbor on their very border.

The time for change has come. Big changes. How well we could use some of the trilions we give away each year if we were to dedicate this money in helping our own citizens to have better lives through lower taxes, better schools, feeding the poor and a modern healthcare system for all. So....Turkey, you are a democracy, we acknowledge your right to vote as you see fit, but don't expect another dime from us. No credit either. Hey "non aligned" nations of central Africa, we hate to see it, but seems you may well starve because our breadbasket is closing and those who don't starve may die of AIDS, it's not really our problem. Germany, we are putting a "For Sale" sign on our bases in your country, closing the doors and moving to Lithuania or Estonia. They appreciate the cost of freedom there, and they'll also appreciate the extra billions in their treasury.

The time has come to stop giving money to people who don't like us. To not like us is their privelage, but we don't to have clothe and feed them so that they can throw stones at us. It's time for us to cut the marginal nations of the world free to swim, sink, die or get their bread from France. It's time to start developing better relations with countries who are among the up and coming. And not just coming up with their hands out. Countries in our own hemisphere like Brazil and Mexico where, though with their own troubles, they are making strides in democracy and workable capitalism. Countries in the East like the Phillipines and India. These are countries that have promise, countries who for the most part appreciate a capitalist democracy and moreover know that sometimes you must fight to preserve it.

I can only hope that our legislators, in the coming years, won't let our American spirit of generorsity override the treatment we have been accorded by much of the world in the last 9 months. Tell them, "Uncle Sugar's" checkbook is closed. Let the hogs get their slop courtesy of another trough.
Call it tough love.

Mr. TeeVee.....
My good friend, business partner and fellow bon vivante Joe Galloway sends me this note about his next TeeVee appearance tonight on CNN....

"I taped a little spot as the Newsmaker of the Week to broadcast Saturday night on CNN Capitol Gang with Al Hunt. Show goes on at 9pm est; my segment shortly after 9:30pm est. Watch. They gonna use some movie clips, pix of me with the gun etc etc as background".

The picture he refers to is one of him from Vietnam, sporting his correspondents beret and totin' a Swedish Automatic rifle. I sent them this picture from our files the last time he appeared on CNN......glad to see they're getting the mileage out of it.

Fountain Pen of Memories...

Call me an ignorant West Texas yokel, but what the hell are the people in New York thinking about when they want to build something like this as a memorial to September 11th victims? From this angle it looks like a fountain pen with fungus.

The project features "....a tower 1,776 feet tall, symbolic for the year of American independence, that would demonstrate the durability of democracy, while the top floors would be filled with indoor gardens as a "confirmation of life." The tower would be the world's tallest". Excuse my naive thinking but a monstrosity like this, an expensive fairly useless monstrosity at that, doesn't demonstrate the durability of squat except stupidity and having plants growing 1500 feet in the air confirms only my belief that good sense in New York is still a rare commodity. And here we go again with the having the "world's tallest building" syndrome...this just two years after the worlds second tallest twin towers came tumbling down. I suppose that the thinking is that terrorists won't be interested in flying planes into a building full of plants.

I have been to a fair number of memorials in my life and I think that the most "memorial" of all of these is the Arlington National Cemetary. Plain, pastoral and unadorned except for the graves of those who have served their country well. This tells it all, and has never failed to bring a tear to my eye. Tears of saddness and of pride. The thousands of simple markers tell the story of the Nation's sacrifices far better than a plant filled fountain pen.

"No blood for Megabucks Memorials"

Duct tape still available...
In West Texas we still know how to conduct a trial.

Judge duct tapes defendant's mouth shut

Down with [fill in blank here] Now! ...............
From Lisa at A Blog From A Broad come these photographs* of British protesters angry in their indignation about [fill in blank here]. One can hope that they know what they are protesting and that it is just their typical British reserved demeanor that prohibits them from actually wanting to offend anyone by mentioning their cause on their banners. Personally, I hope that they are protesting the habit of wearing underwear....one of the scourges of the 21st Century.

*Official [fill in blank here] protest photos courtesy of Mr. Chris Walsh , an actual person from Britain [not to be confused with Chris Gissing, another British subject].

Weather Awards.....
....and in the category of "Best weather forecast by a drunk, or obviously mentally deranged weatherman", the winner is.........The Weather Channel. A portion of the award reads, "....for the distinction of predicting that the high temperature in Midland Texas on February 24th would be 60° with sunny skies, when in fact the actual daytime high reached only 21° at 5 a.m. and then sank to 18° in the afternoon with intermittent snow squalls, few true weathermen can match this abyssmal record."

I agree and it would be funny, except that acting on their late evening forecast of the previous day, many dupes did not bring their much loved house plants back inside and they now look like a two week old withered green salad. The Weather Channel, in my eyes, are nothing more than plant mass murderers and I urge you to protest and boycott the Weather Channel, and weather in general.

Voices of the past......
From British historian and commentator Allistair Cooke.....worth the read.

Appeasing Hitler and Saddam
"I must tell you that throughout the past fortnight I've listened to everybody involved in or looking on to a monotonous din of words, like a tide crashing and receding on a beach - making a great noise and saying the same thing over and over. And this ordeal triggered a nightmare - a day-mare, if you like. Through the ceaseless tide I heard a voice, a very English voice of an old man - Prime Minister Chamberlain saying: "I believe it is peace for our time" - a sentence that prompted a huge cheer, first from a listening street crowd and then from the House of Commons and next day from every newspaper in the land. There was a move to urge that Mr. Chamberlain should receive the Nobel Peace Prize. In Parliament there was one unfamiliar old grumbler to growl out: "I believe we have suffered a total and unmitigated defeat." He was, in view of the general sentiment, very properly booed down. This scene concluded in the autumn of 1938 the British prime minister's effectual signing away of most of Czechoslovakia to Hitler. The rest of it, within months, Hitler walked in and conquered. "Oh dear," said Mr. Chamberlain, thunderstruck. "He has betrayed my trust."

During the last fortnight a simple but startling thought occurred to me -- every single official, diplomat, president, prime minister involved in the Iraq debate was in 1938 a toddler, most of them unborn. So the dreadful scene I've just drawn will not have been remembered by most listeners. Hitler had started betraying our trust not 12 years but only two years before, when he broke the First World War peace treaty by occupying the demilitarised zone of the Rhineland. Only half his troops carried one reload of ammunition because Hitler knew that French morale was too low to confront any war just then and 10 million of 11 million British voters had signed a so-called peace ballot. It stated no conditions, elaborated no terms, it simply counted the numbers of Britons who were "for peace." The slogan of this movement was "Against war and fascism" - chanted at the time by every Labour man and Liberal and many moderate Conservatives - a slogan that now sounds as imbecilic as "against hospitals and disease." In blunter words a majority of Britons would do anything, absolutely anything, to get rid of Hitler except fight him. At that time the word preemptive had not been invented, though today it's a catchword. After all the Rhineland was what it said it was - part of Germany. So to march in and throw Hitler out would have been preemptive - wouldn't it?

Nobody did anything and Hitler looked forward with confidence to gobbling up the rest of Western Europe country by country - "course by course," as growler Churchill put it.

I bring up Munich and the mid-30s because I was fully grown, on the verge of 30, and knew we were indeed living in the age of anxiety. And so many of the arguments mounted against each other today, in the last fortnight, are exactly what we heard in the House of Commons debates and read in the French press. The French especially urged, after every Hitler invasion, "negotiation, negotiation." They negotiated so successfully as to have their whole country defeated and occupied. But as one famous French leftist said: "We did anyway manage to make them declare Paris an open city - no bombs on us!"

In Britain the general response to every Hitler advance was disarmament and collective security. Collective security meant to leave every crisis to the League of Nations. It would put down aggressors, even though, like the United Nations, it had no army, navy or air force. The League of Nations had its chance to prove itself when Mussolini invaded and conquered Ethiopia (Abyssinia). The League didn't have any shot to fire.

But still the cry was chanted in the House of Commons - the League and collective security is the only true guarantee of peace. But after the Rhineland the maverick Churchill decided there was no collectivity in collective security and started a highly unpopular campaign for rearmament by Britain, warning against the general belief that Hitler had already built an enormous mechanised army and superior air force.

But he's not used them, he's not used them - people protested. Still for two years before the outbreak of the Second War you could read the debates in the House of Commons and now shiver at the famous Labour men - Major Attlee was one of them - who voted against rearmament and still went on pointing to the League of Nations as the saviour.

Now, this memory of mine may be totally irrelevant to the present crisis. It haunts me. I have to say I have written elsewhere with much conviction that most historical analogies are false because, however strikingly similar a new situation may be to an old one, there's usually one element that is different and it turns out to be the crucial one. It may well be so here.

All I know is that all the voices of the 30s are echoing through 2003. . . ."

Famous Visitor..........

I am blessed to be visited by well known veteran Dick Ackerman and his wife Kay. Dick is mentioned prominently in the best seller, We Were Soldiers Once, and Young and witnessed some of the most vicious fighting of the Vietnam War. Dick was walking point for the column that was the 2/7th Cavalry as they made they way through the jungle to Landing Zone Albany where they were ambushed by overwhelming North Vietnamese forces which resulted in close hand to hand combat and the death of 155 American troops and an uncounted, but certainly higher number of North Vietnamese forces.

I admire Dick for his courage and honesty in talking about overcoming the demons that have haunted him since this life changing experience and for the gentle person he is today. He is a pleasure to be around, and certainly has a grateful perspective on life today.

Thought for the Day....
Though it appears that the "protesters" are large in number.....they are mostly naive nitwits and they are still the minority. But the numbers of fact thinking sane individuals who believe that Saddam is a real menace, is much larger, much larger! It would just not seem right to have the majority marching, "For War".

And what about those "human shields"? The thought among sane fact thinking individuals is that they are the lowest of the low. But what, just what if they are working for the CIA? This thought has crossed my mind. This would be he ultimate "cover", Saddam welcoming his comrade allies and they placing Peace Banners on the bridges, public works and buildings. Banners with microchips embedded so that smart weapons could home in on them. Just a thought. A pleasant thought, instead of just thinking that they are the naive scum they probably are.

Change is good...
Streams is now in large print edition and with a wider text box, to enhance your reading pleasure.

From the source..
From the British newpaper, The Guardian, comes a letter to the editor that should be read by all human shields, "No Blood for Oil" nitwits and Frenchmen.......but probably won't be.
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Dr B Khalaf
Friday February 14, 2003
The Guardian

I write this to protest against all those people who oppose the war against Saddam Hussein, or as they call it, the "war against Iraq". I am an Iraqi doctor, I worked in the Iraqi army for six years during Iraq-Iran war and four months during Gulf war. All my family still live in Iraq. I am an Arab Sunni, not Kurdish or Shia. I am an ordinary Iraqi not involved with the Iraqi opposition outside Iraq.
I am so frustrated by the appalling views of most of the British people, media and politicians. I want to say to all these people who are against the possible war, that if you think by doing so you are serving the interests of Iraqi people or saving them, you are not. You are effectively saving Saddam. You are depriving the Iraqi people of probably their last real chance get rid of him and to get out of this dark era in their history.

My family and almost all Iraqi families will feel hurt and anger when Saddam's media shows on the TV, with great happiness, parts of Saturday's demonstration in London. But where were you when thousands of Iraqi people were killed by Saddam's forces at the end of the Gulf war to crush the uprising? Only now when the war is to reach Saddam has everybody become so concerned about the human life in Iraq.

Where were you while Saddam has been killing thousands of Iraqis since the early 70s? And where are you are now, given that every week he executes people through the "court of revolution", a summary secret court run by the secret security office. Most of its sentences are executions which Saddam himself signs.

I could argue one by one against your reasons for opposing this war. But just ask yourselves why, out of about 500,000 Iraqis in Britain, you will not find even 1,000 of them participating tomorrow? Your anti-war campaign has become mass hysteria and you are no longer able to see things properly.

Locum consultant neurologist, London
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Additionally, this statement from the leader of the Iraqi Kurdish leader is profound.

And for a great bit of parody on the world scene, read Restaurant Inspections Fail

Lucky Pierre...
Today's submission let's you participate in the Glory that is France! Retired Army Colonel and noted historian Blair Craig gives us a "heads up" on a brand new computer game in Beta testing by the French Army. Sounds magnifique!
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Paris - Inspired by the commercial success of the United States Army’s "Boot Camp" video game, the General Staff of the French Army has announced plans to market "Ultimate Surrender," a video game based upon the proud military traditions of the Gauls.

In the game we follow the exploits of Lucky Pierre, an apprentice garlic salesman from Marseilles, as he joins the French Army and begins a rigorous course of combat training. The First Level of the game is called "Survival School," and the players have to help Lucky Pierre survive 24 hours without red wine or crème brulé. The Second Level is "Capitulation," and the goal here is to see which player can have Lucky Pierre surrender the fastest without firing a shot or getting his uniform dirty.

Level Three is "Collaboration." Here the players battle to see who can collect the largest numbers of pairs of nylon stockings and packages of chocolates by having Lucky Pierre perform sexual favors for members of the occupying forces. Level Four is "Be Ungrateful to America for Rescuing Your Sorry French Ass Once Again." In this extremely challenging part of the game contestants vie with one another to see who can make Lucky Pierre behave in the surliest manner when the United States inevitably comes to the rescue of the defeated French. The Final Level is "Pretending to Have Been in the Resistance." Here contestants compete in a battle of tall tales and whoppers as they try to protect Lucky Pierre from treason charges.

Marketing tests show that "Ultimate Surrender" is a big hit with French teenagers and young adults who are too young to have experienced France’s lightening surrender to the Germans in 1940 or its defeat by the Vietnamese in 1954 at Dien Bien Phu. "Zees is a great tool to inspire ze patriotism in ze youths, n’est ce pas?" said General Jean-Jacques Loseur, Commander-in-Chief of the French Army, during his weekly press conference. "Since ze end of ze Cold War we French have not had many opportunities to surrender or to show great cowardice in the face of much weaker opponents."

Shields-R-Us.....
Well it seems as if the massive "human shield" effort has arrived in Iraq. Well 14 shields have arrived. Here are some comments from these rocket scientists.

Canadian Roberta Taman said. "I'm here because I believe that the world wants peace and that we can achieve peace." But she added, "I'm outa' here in case of war, I'm no martyr". That's the spirit Roberta, moral committment!

Worried about Iraq's water supply European ignoramus, Ignacio Cano of Spain says, "A country that can hardly provide water for its citizens cannot be a threat to the world," Well gee whiz you dumb Spanish dirtball, maybe they would have a water supply if Saddam didn't spend all his money on palaces, statues of himself and military hardware. And this from a Euromoron whose country still allows torturing of animals for sport.

Standing on the bridge, Iraq Peace Team leader Kathy Kelly of Chicago said, "You can imagine what this city would be like if it were cut off when some people need desperately to get to a hospital or to connect with the people on the other side". OOOOO scary thought Kathy, war is hell when people can't get to the other side of a bridge to connect, this completely changes things and the administration may now have second thoughts about purging the world of a crazed psychopath.
HEADLINE NEWS: George Bush didn't realize that war might mean people couldn't connect....orders troops home!

Some of the activists charge that the Geneva Conventions governing the practices of war make it a crime to attack facilities essential to civilian life.
Dear Shield: would this include the Kurdish human body and Kurdish homes. Just a thought for you to consider.

But on the positive side for the forces of good, "The campaigners, organized as the Iraq Peace Team, have been draping banners over public facilities in Baghdad this week — an electricity station, a water treatment plant and, on Thursday, the Martyrs Bridge over the Tigris.
Dear Shields, thank you, draping large banners over the public facilities surely helps in target acquisition.

Earth shaking news....

I'm shocked that this could have happened in the world of TeeVee entertainment. Just shocked!
Read this

Buy Croatian....
Now is the time for Americans to put up or shut up concering the neferious slitherings of our erstwhile allies, France, Germany and now Belgium. We liberated two of these countries in 1944 and completely rebuilt the other after whupping their ass fair and square, and we didn't have to do that. Now they say they're not interested in helping us out in destroying a demon state, because they just remembered that they don't like us and what have we done for them lately. OK, but now we Americans must do what we do best, which is apply economic pressure...and you can help. Do your best not to buy products from these jellyfish. As we say in Texas, "money talks, and bullshit walks".

I intend to boycott products from these countries and am compiling a mental list of things I intend not to buy from them. But you know it's a fairly tough job, especially concerning France and Belgium. I don't buy anything that I am aware of from France or Belgium anyway. I suppose I'll have to Google up some dot.FR domains, and write to them and tell them that although I've never heard of their product and wouldn't buy it anyway, now I'm really not gonna' buy it. The French pride themselves on wine, cheese and women's underwear and I don't need any of these, but if I did we have great women's undergarment businesses here in the States. They make cars, at least I think they still do, but Puegeot's and Renault's were, no offense intended here, worthless pieces of scrap, the Renault's being only a small step up from a Vespa. I'm really searching here to remember anything that France does make, that is of neccessity. Help me out, if you think of anything, drop me a wire.

Now the economy of Belgium is an even more mysterious subject. I know that they used to be famous for lace. And in fact, I have a beautiful lace table cloth from Belgium that was my grandmothers, it's a work of art. And I have a small crystal duck from Bruge purchased for me long ago by friends who visited Belgium. So...I know that they make lace and crystal ducks. What else do they do? Export drugs I believe, but I don't think they should do that. I hope that someone reads this and can point me in the direction of a company in Belgium that actually makes something that we use and couldn't do without. Then I'll have the pleasure of emailing them and telling them that I just found out that they make a product that I can't do without, but I will because I'm not buying it.

German goods are more obvious in their boycottablity, for the Germans actually do make some useful products. Overpriced but useful. The Germans are technicians, engineers and builders. They have some quality items on the international market and ones that I could use. For example, we recently looked at some German electric generating equipment which was state of the art and a thing of beauty, overpriced but great equipment. I hope we still have the email address of the company who tried to sell it to us, I'd like to write them and tell them that due to their national government policy, we won't be buying it. Of course, we weren't going to anyway...it was overpriced.

I would like to think that recent German actions and opinions on the world stage are merely a lapse during a bad time in their national consciousness, a final cleansing action concerning their angst at starting several world wars. But I'm still boycotting their products. That's why I'm emailing the Mercedes-Benz headquarters and telling them that I was going to buy 2 or 3 of their cars this year, but due to their government policies they can just kiss that order adios, I've decided to buy an Austin Mini-Cooper from our good true friends the English.

The next phase of the boycott is to find products to buy that come from our new good friends in Denmark and the Baltic States. I think the Danes make some neat stuff in the "artsy" area and of course they have great dogs. I'm sure I'll find something useful from Croatia also, it may take some searching but I just know there is some product that the Croats are famous for, and I'm gonna' buy me some of it.

Adieu......
And finally to cap off our salute to France week, this from retired Colonel Wayne Porter.........

Why are there so many tree lined roads in France?
Because the German Army likes to march in the shade.

More of, "L'Amour d' France"

The emails are thick with paeans for the French, more today........

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So the French still aren't on board with us spanking Iraq. Oh boo hoo. Let's take a look at the mighty French military prowess, shall we?

Gaellic Wars - Lost. In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2000 years of French history, France is conquered by of all things, an Italian.

Hundred Years War - Mostly lost, saved at last by female schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare: "France's armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchman."

Italian Wars - Lost. France becomes the first and only country to ever lose two wars when fighting Italians.

Wars of Religion - France goes 0-5-4 against the Huguenots

Thirty Years War - France is technically not a participant, but manages to get invaded anyway. Claims a tie on the basis that eventually the other participants started ignoring her.

War of Devolution - Tied. Frenchmen take to wearing red flowerpots as chapeaux.

The Dutch War - Tied

War of the Augsburg League/King William's War/French and Indian War-
Lost, but claimed as a tie. Three ties in a row induces deluded Frogophiles the world over to label the period as the height of French military power.

War of the Spanish Succession - Lost. The War also gave the French their first taste of a Marlborough, which they have loved every since.

American Revolution - In a move that will become quite familiar to future Americans, France claims a win even though the English colonists saw far more action. This is later known as "de Gaulle Syndrome", and leads to the Second Rule of French Warfare: "France only wins when America does most of the fighting."

French Revolution - Won, primarily due the fact that the opponent was also French.

The Napoleonic Wars - Lost. Temporary victories (remember the First Rule!) due to leadership of a Corsican, who ended up being no match for a British footwear designer.

The Franco-Prussian War - Lost. Germany first plays the role of drunk Frat boy to France's ugly girl home alone on a Saturday night.

World War I - Tied and on the way to losing, France is saved by the United States. Thousands of French women find out what it's like to not only sleep with a winner, but one who doesn't call her "Fraulein." Sadly, widespread use of condoms by American forces forestalls any improvement in the French bloodline.

World War II - Lost. Conquered French liberated by the United States and Britain just as they finish learning the Horst Wessel Song.

War in Indochina - Lost. French forces plead sickness, take to bed with the Dien Bien Flu.

Algerian Rebellion - Lost. Loss marks the first defeat of a western army by a Non-Turkic Muslim force since the Crusades, and produces the First Rule of Muslim Warfare: "We can always beat the French." This rule is identical to the First Rules of the Italians, Russians, Germans, English, Dutch, Spanish, Vietnamese and Esquimaux.

War on Terrorism - France, keeping in mind its recent history, surrenders to Germans and Muslims just to be safe. Attempts to surrender to Vietnamese ambassador fail after he takes refuge in a McDonald's.

The question for any country silly enough to count on the French should not be "Can we count on the French?", but rather "How long until France surrenders?"