Give 'em a head lock....
Having once undertaken matrimonial vows in Minnesota and spending some good amount of time there in the dim past, I find the state an interesting dichotomy. For the most part, they are typical Mid-Western folks, conservative by nature, and still tending very much toward the old world Germanic wholesomeness. It's just about the cleanest state I've ever been to, and Minneapolis is a gem, with lakes, parks, art and again.....just plain really clean.

The other side of this wonderfulness is that the state has become, along with it's neighbor Wisconsin, a hotbed of old fashion liberalism. Wisconsin has been like that forever. As I have written elsewhere, there is a reason for this gung-ho liberalism. It's easy to be a tree-hugging, kissy kissy liberal if you live in areas that don't have the problems that other states do....such as run-a-way illegal immigration as an example. If the problem is elsewhere it's quite easy to give advice on the solution........what do you care, you won't have to live with it.

Of course, I got started thinking about Minnesota after the Sen. Wellstone Memorial[?]. Walt Mondale has been on the appology trail, saying that some of the people just got a "little carried away". OK. There is another name for this. Just plain rude crude bad taste. I was proud to see Gov. Jesse "Jack Slap 'em" Ventura on the TeeVee this morning. As you may know he walked out of the affair and his comment was, "I was disgusted, I ought to unscrew their heads like burnt out lightbulbs" [or something to that effect]. Way to go Jesse.
Gov. Ventura, now there is a real dichotomy that we may discuss in more detail later. On one hand I really like the guy, he was a Navy SEAL, he speaks plainly without worrying about his re-election possiblities. Then he wears slacks and a polo shirt to the memorial service and sounds about half loony sometimes.

Inane Rambling......
Tired of the crush of sniper's, politicians, terrorists and other stressful thoughts of the modern Globilized life, I turn to thoughts in a more mundane vane. There are things I hate about modern life [from the way it was when I was a kid] like the things just mentioned, and that people in a neighborhood don't sit on their front porches anymore to talk about them. Hell, most people don't have front porches and if they did would be afraid the neighbors might steal something if they did visit. I'm blessed in that I know and like most of my neighbors, but, and this is crazy, but......I email the people across the street as much as I do talk to them in the front yard. I email all the folks up and down the street to tell them I'm going out of town, I send them pictures of my daily life in JPG format, instead of walking over and showing them in KodaChrome. There are more things, many more that I detest about modern life [traffic, the increase in morons, the increase in TeeVee idiot talking heads] but I won't dwell on these. I'll tell you something I do like.
I like Plastic Tar. I discovered Plastic Tar today, at McCoy's Home Repair Center. I have a fireplace that has been leaking more now that the monsoon season has hit, and I tried last week to patch it with Silicon Caulk. Silicon Caulk is outmoded kid stuff. Plastic Tar is in. It comes in a paint can size bucket for only $3.95US and is the consistancy of Betty Crocker Vanilla canned icing. It slathers into the cracks very nicely, and I'm told that it dries much as would real tar, only stronger since it has genuine plastic molecules in it. I also like that the Plastic Tar was sold to me by a friend who I haven't seen in 5 years. And who happens to look exactly like The Big White Guy in Hong Kong. Plastic Tar, try it, you'll like it. It's like liquid Duck Tape.

The Right Stuff....
The term "Hero" is used loosely in this day and age. But one man that personifies and deserves that appellation is Gen. Chuck Yeager. Not for just breaking the sound barrier all those years ago, but for a lifetime of services much above and beyond the call of duty. And doing it mostly out of the eye of the media. He will be the first to tell you that he doesn't like being called a hero. He will say that he was just a guy doing his duty and what he loved to do. In a personal setting he gets noticeably peeved when all people want to do is talk about breaking the sound barrier. He will tell you that it was the luck of the draw that got him in Glamorous Glyniss that day, that it could have been any number of other well qualified pilots. He would really rather talk about his days as a P-51 fighter jock....and ace. To talk about what it meant to defeat Nazi Germany and about all his friends who weren't as lucky as he, and who didn't come home.

I was lucky enough this year to meet Gen. Yeager and hear him say these things. So it was with relish that I read today that he once again, probably for the last time got to break the sound barrier. Sorry Gen. Yeager, I know you wouldn't want to hear it, but you are a hero.....and a genuine legend.

On the Sauce....
Apparently sauce stories are hot news on the International scene. After yesterdays tragic fish sauce story from Vietnam, alert reader Lisa in England found this important news item courtesy of the BBC. The Brown Sauce story is a classic tale of intrigue involving a Bozo not believing that the chef had created his own recipe but instead had used a popular generic, off the shelf, sauce common in Britain. Typically British, the bozo in question admits that he used bad form in coming back after hours and trying to bash the pub's door down in a drunken fit of sauce inquiry. Good show old man!

Now I can't really blame the guy. Back in my days of drunken sauce confusion I might have done the same thing. I love sauces of all types and I if someone says the sauce is original, by God, it had better be. I will admit here in public that I love Worchestershire Sauce so much that occasionally I chug it right out of the bottle, sometimes with a mouthful of Bac-O's.
[no mail saying how disgusting this is please......I know it]

Something's Fishy
With all the "big" stories occupying the news on TeeVee as evidenced by the rumor that CNN is changing it's name to "The Sniper Channel", we forget that there are other stories of international importance. Such as the previously reported piece about Mrs. Barbara Hewson, who was squashed by a fat person on her last airline flight.
Today alert reader Ben Youmans of Tampa Florida, sends the following breaking news. This story will be "glossed" over by the media, so we are proud to be able to relate the facts to you....

Man Dies After Fish Sauce Rescue

HANOI (Reuters) - A Vietnamese man died and three of his co-workers nearly suffered the same fate after trying to rescue a colleague who fell into a vat of fish sauce. The state-run Tuoi Tre (Youth) newspaper said the accident happened Monday in southern beachside Phan Thiet town when a man at a fish sauce factory fell into a 2.2 meter (7.2 foot) sauce tank.

Four other workers, including the man's wife, who came to his aid also fell in, and all lost consciousness after inhaling the gas from the fish being fermented to make the sauce, the article said. A doctor at the emergency unit at Binh Thuan provincial hospital told Reuters Tuesday one of the rescuers, a 34-year-old man, died after being taken to the hospital. The cause of death has not been established, he said.

"The fish sauce tank is very tall and the victims had been lying in the sauce for a while before being rushed here," said the doctor who declined to be identified. "When they came, the man (who died) was already in critical condition."

Phan Thiet, the capital town of Binh Thuan, lies 190 km (118 miles) northeast of Ho Chi Minh City. Besides being a center for fish sauce manufacturing, it is known for beachside resorts. Fish sauce is ferociously pungent and commonly used in southeast Asia to spice up dishes.

If this article has made you hungry go to Ginger Nuoc Mam for a great recipe [no humans were harmed in this recipe].

Sit on it!
And this just in.....

LONDON, England -- A woman injured while squeezed next to an obese passenger on a trans-Atlantic flight has been given £13,000 ($20,000) by the airline.

Apparently Mrs. Barbara Hewson, of Swansea, Wales had a rather unpleasant flight from London to Los Angeles, as she was sat upon by a fat woman for most of the trip. Mrs. Swanson has been under a doctor's care for injuries suffered while being squashed in flight. Virgin Atlantic said in a statement: "This was an unprecedented set of extremely unfortunate circumstances". I hope so, and when I choose my seat for my next flight I suppose I'm going to ask for a seat next to the window and not next to an obese person. My medical coverage is not that good.

Get out of jail free!
Well I have to give credit where credit is due. For once Dictator Elect Saddam Hussein has a great idea and one that I suspect may catch on. Vote for me, and you might get out of prison. If I get 100% of the vote then Everyone Goes Free! Yeeehaw! With minor variations this just might work in the US of A. The trouble here is that convicted felons, which most people in prison tend to be, can't vote. But this glitch could be overcome. Just make it a proxy vote by the convicted felon's family.
Due to our Federal form of government, this campaign strategy would work most effectively in the race for states governor. I'm already formulating my run for the Governorship of the great State of Texas. I can see, Monopoly "Get out of Jail Free" cards as my main printed material. And, of course, my theme song will be "I'll be home for Christmas". I will recommend, however, that the freed felons be deported to Iraq. This will keep the law and order voters happy.

Strangely curious......
The case of the D.C. sniper gets more curiouser all the time. The basic fact of oddity to me is how someone, anyone, no matter how well trained [if at all] can get away with shooting down 9 people with a high powered weapon in heavily populated areas without more witnesses and clues. Add to that...while being hunted by probably 1000's of law enforcement officers from agencies of all variety. The odds just seem against it.
The series of events has, of course, become a media feeding frenzy, with CNN and other media seemingly ignoring most other major stories. One wonders what the coverage might be if 9 people were gunned down in say, Montana. But, not wanting to be left out of the story, I flipped to CNN this morning on the TeeVee just in time to see a Very Extra Special "Live Special Alert" story covering the massive show of force at the Exxon service station in Richmond, where officers had surrounded a white van with a rack on top. Aha! Now we're getting somewhere I and the expert talking heads thought. After the cryptic messages from Chief Bullwinkle J. Moose about mystery phone calls, and communication with the perpetrator, we sensed the end was near, suspects were in hand.

What are the odds that two illegal aliens in a white van with a luggage rack on top, would stop to use the phone [ordering Burritos to go?]. Well, that apparently [at this hour anyway] is exactly what happened. At least they made an arrest. But I still have a theory, a conspiracy theory. This is a Federal coverup to take the heat off Dubya and the campaign against Iraq. And what do you bet that the "note" left behind the steakhouse turns out to be from some slimeball not connected to anything, trying to cash in for some dough.

Jackass....well no MORON
I read where a young woman is suing MTV for injuries she incurred while appearing on their TeeVee thriller...."Jackass". Since I personally know many Jackasses, I'm not inclined to watch such exciting TeeVee fare, so I'm commenting on third hand information. But my conclusion is.."What the xxxx is the matter with people"?
Jackass seemed to be popular with our upcoming generation because "Jackass" pushed the envelope for absurd behavior. This is good, this is what we need, more adsurd behavior produced on TeeVee for teenagers. The injured woman also claimed that "cast members, including star Johnny Knoxville, were given alcohol by the producers, which led to a "hostile, volatile and out-of-control" environment". Great, we need more out of control drunk teenagers portrayed on TeeVee.

We also need more teenagers setting themselves on fire to emulate what they see on TeeVee.

"In 2001, Jackass star, Knoxville donned a fireproof suit covered in steaks and was set on fire to become a human barbecue. A teenager who saw the stunt tried the same thing and landed in the hospital with severely burned hands, legs and back."

But this wasn't MTV's fault, they had included the ever popular warning. "Don't try this at home". Apparently MTV has learned it's lesson about Jackass, which was, "we'd better cancel this show, we're getting sued."
They've learned their lesson about using amateur actors so now they are in production of "Jackass, the Movie". All this will be included in my future upcoming book entitled, "The TeeVee factor, why we have more morons than ever".

Gooooooood Morning Afghanistan!
I was confronted by an article on Woody Harleson yesterday in The NZ Pundit wherein, blowhard hypocrite Woody explains why the United States is at fault for the situation in the Mid-East. And for good measure he condemns all large US corporation for whatever else ails the world. This from a guy who started his road to "stardom" playing a dimwitted moron in a bar. Digressing slightly, may I remind Woody that it's the United States and in large part the large corporations who pay his inflated salary and made him a "star". I used to follow Woody's career as he is a hometown Midland, Texas boy. But I have had to give up as I was getting ill. Here's a scuzbag pontificating with high moral indignation, on his liberal high horse about the evils perpetrated by the US while he's home making such socially redeeming films as "Natural Born Killers". Perhaps it runs in his genetic makeup. Maybe he got the idea for this film from his father, of equally high moral character. The senior Mr. Harrelson is lanquishing in a Federal Prison for the assasination of a US Federal Judge.

With this as the backdrop I would like to think that there is hope for the Hollywood crowd. And there is. As Woody was running his moron mouth, Robin Williams was in Afghanistan doing what he could for the troops stationed there. Way to go MORK!

Bomb in Burgerland
I took note today that "Bomb Blasts McDonald's in Moscow. Thank God, no one was killed, but several were injured including a child. Now one would think, and probably rightly first assume that this is another act of fundamental Islamic terrorism aimed at the capitalist system. Not me. My first thought is that this is the work of a food critic, vegetarian or just an ordinary citizen making a statement against eating junk food. I can just image this......some whacko, blood sugar dangerously out of kilter, driving around in a white panel truck setting off explosive charges to make a statement.
Or perhaps it was just an accident. The grease trap having built up dangerously high levels of gas.....blasting those "new" good for you French Fries around as shrapnel.

International Opinions
The Internet was started to share information. In the preceeding years it has become, for many, pure and simple entertainment. But with the advent of the "Blog" community [for the uninitiated, this is a Blog.....however pathetic] there is now a great opportunity to get almost real time snapshots of what ordinary people throughout the world are thinking. Especially now.

I have started reading more Blogs of a serious tone, and have recently come across two from about as far away as one cares to get from Texas. Thru Gordon's NZ Pundit in New Zealand and Tim Blair in Australia and all their associated links, it's interesting to read about how those two countries are now thinking about terrorism. Both lost a realitively high number of their citizens in the attack in Bali, that took the life of one of our hometown young men. There definetly appears to be a better understanding of the terrorist problem and certainly more open discussion.
And Gordon in NZ Pundit reminded me today of one of my favorite quotes, quite appropos today......

War is an ugly thing, but not the ugliest of things. The decayed and degraded state of moral and patriotic feeling which thinks that nothing is worth war is much worse. The person who has nothing for which he is willing to fight, nothing which is more important than his own personal safety, is a miserable creature, and has no chance of being free unless made or kept so by the exertions of better men than himself.

Check these guys, and others, out.

Bulletin from Baghdad
As you may have noticed on the International newswires, in a surprising turn of events, Saddam Hussein has been re-elected as dictator, father, and leader of the children of Iraq!! This is a stunning development. Although there were no other entries in the race for Iraqi Dictator, the word on the street in Baghdad, was that the write in vote would be significant and that two candidates, Bishop Desmond Tutu and former President and Nobel Peace Prize winner, Jimmy Carter, had a fair chance of success to oust the long serving Hussein.
What is truly surprising is that election officials announced that the turnout was nearly 100% of those eligible to vote [those still with at least one hand], and that the vote was 100% in favor of Saddam remaining as dictator for another 7 year term. This has to give pause to the coalition building against Saddam. Perhaps he truly is the loved benevolent leader he claims to be. And the fact that his term as dictator is only for 7 years gives some credence to the idea of a "democratic dictatorship". Something common in the Arab world. Also a sign that Iraq is moving forward in the world of modern nations is the online voting form seen below. It was reported that all 9 people with Internet access used this means to vote "Yes" for Saddam.

Referendum to have your benevolent ruler Saddam Hussein remain as your Dictator

Please choose one

Yes Torture Death

Please include your name and where you sleep at night. This information will be used for Iraqi census data only.

Too close, once again
Once again terrorism has struck very close at hand. We have learned that a fine young man from Midland is missing in Bali. Jake Young was an All American football player at the University of Nebraska, but more importantly by all accounts, just a fine young man with a young son and wife. He is listed as missing......but honestly it doesn't look good. Julie's parents are very good friends of the Youngs.
This comes just a little more than one year after another person with just one degree of separation from me, was killed at the WTC. Rick Rescorla was close friends of most of my "We Were Soldiers" friends, and I would have met Rick last November at their reunion if he had not been struck down while saving most of the employees of his brokerage firm. I have met Rick's widow.......she misses him greatly, as will the Young's miss Jake if indeed his is gone.
Perhaps all those around the world who pre-comdemn the US for thinking of demasculating Iraq would have some small degree of understanding of our motives if they would start to lose people near to them to the maniacs who perpetrate these acts. Perhaps they'll get that chance for the terror organizations cannot stand free people, anywhere, speaking out against their beliefs.

Well, the Air Show is over, fini, kaput and done. I'm always sad at that but also a little thankful. It is a tiring experience spanning 5 days if one is working on it, as I do. But mostly sad. Every year we lose several of the "old regulars"....the guys who flew these planes when they were 18, 19 or 20 years old, but who are now approaching 78, 79 and 80. Brave young guys who really didn't want to go to war, but went and did their duty to the best of their ability. Many never made it back, and now the ones who did are "Going West" at a rapidly rising rate. That's the main reason I love the Air Show....to hear their amazing stories in the little time they have left.
And not all from the American side. I have become good friends with General Arika Inoue, retired vice-commander of the Japanese Air Force. He comes from Japan with his buddies every year, in a spirit of friendship, to see the planes and for the comradeship that most people who have never been in the miltitary don't understand. He comes to honor all those who gave their lives, even those who tried to shot him down all those years ago. And what stories he has. He started off his flying career as a Kamikaze pilot......need I say more.

With the King Ranch stunt plane

Air Show!
If it's the first week in October it must be Air Show time. The Commemorative Air Force Air Show is the second largest [in terms of aircraft] aviation show in the US of A, and in terms of historic flyable aircraft.....the largest in the world. It's a thrill to be up close and personal with so many rare and in some cases, one of a kind planes. But, just as big a thrill is meeting people who come from all over the world, many of whom actually flew these birds, and unfortunately are rapidly aging and won't be around much longer. The stories I've heard from these folks! We get many visitors from France, Germany..a growing number from Japan. But our largest visitor group comes from Switzerland, where a group charters the own commercial airliner to attend.

The photo below taken today, is Me [center] with my crack aircrew, standing before a Bell P-39 Air Cobra. An interesting piece of technology in that the engine is located behind the pilot, with a drive shaft going between his feet to turn the propeller.

Good news from Ft. Bend
One of the triad of strange news events yesterday was the mysterious fire at the Ft. Bend County Fair and Arson Museum, where the last mention was of counting the Rotary Club Turkey Leg business Kaput! Well in the true spirit of American Rotarianism, we are proud to announce that the Phoenix has risen from the ashes. The "unnamed arsonist" sends this updated report on the status. Fat, poor, fair going people of America are rejoicing

"You will be happy to know that although I did my darndest to burn that mutha down on Sunday night, that our Turkey Leg Booth was back in production on Monday by noon... All we (Gary and I) did was prove that our cooker was a 'self-cleaning' model... with a little help from Ed and a certain power washer. The legs do taste a little like dry chemical fire extinguisher residue, but at least we don't have to throw out those 120 or so cases of frozen turkey legs. And at $4 a pop that is some pretty serious missed revenue.
The incident did prove beneficial in a few ways. The local paper did mention the incident on the front page on Monday, but better yet on Tuesday we got redemption on the front page again, this time above the fold... so our publicity stunt may cause us to search high and low for more turkey legs. The other issue was the need for training in the cleaning of the contraption... lastly the Fair Association is appreciative of our "fire drill", noting that they were somewhat unprepared for such an incident - and now they will change their policy for booths that have 'fire in the hole'."

Strange News...
[names of actual persons withheld to protect the innocent.....mainly ME from retribution for mentioning these incidents]
A strange day of breaking personal new. Starting early when an unnamed blonde who I am very fond of arrived at my house in a "state". She reported that she had just run into her Father's large vehicle with her small Yellow Bug [see no names mentioned...]. I wondered aloud how she could have done this and was told "well he was parked right behind me". Oh, I see.
Then I got a cable [actually email...cable sounds more exciting] from my Mother who resides five blocks away that a certain un-named only sister of mine had been in the hospital hooked up to intravenous antibiotics. Shocked, I imagined a wreck, illness, or some other major event. I read on to find that, no, she actually had been bitten by a cat...her own cat. It seems that cats have bacteria infested oral cavities [dogs have clean mouths] and infections are usually the result of their bites. She's fine now, and hopefully treating her cat with more kindness and respect.
And when I get to the office another shocking cable [email] is waiting from the aforementioned unnamed blonde whom I'm fond of. It seems that her only unnamed brother has just nearly burned down an entire county fair. Being a good cook and model citizen he was manning the Rotary Club's Turkey Leg booth at the Ft. Bend [Houston] County Fair, when apparently the cooking fervor got out of hand and a small fire started, and then became a rather large one. Portions of the fair were evacuated and five fire units had to be dispatched to quell the blaze. There was no loss of life, but the Ft. Bend Rotary Club is out of the turkey leg business this year.
It's supposed to rain tomorrow, I hope that's all the excitement there is.

The personally known demished Mr. K[G]rugger...
Two of my pet peaves about Internet activity are, Number 1, SPAM, for all the time wasted and the inability to stop most of the cretins who do it. Number 2 is AOL, just for general principals, at AOL it's "my way or the highway". But the one good thing that AOL does have is competant SPAM filters. Which brings me to today's subject. Entertainment SPAM, no not SPAM about entertainment, but spam that entertains. And the only real example of that is "Nigerian 419 SPAM".

For the unitiated, or AOL users who probably don't see it, Nigerian Spam, is from friends you don't know you have in Africa who want to do you a favor and send you $5 million, and the only thing you have to do, is to send them $50,000 first. What a deal. The 419 stands for the Nigerian penal code that outlaws this. The letters are the entertainment in themselves. Some are in fairly good English, some are just plain bad, but all are hugely comical. And they all have several things in common. Among them is some really wild story purporting to have gotten your name and email address from some high citizen of Africa who has met you somewhere along life's way. [Gee, I don't remember being in Ghana, but if they know me...I guess I was]. The other commonality is the twisted convuluted trail of how so much money came available and just how you were selected out of the world's billions to help them get it.
I received one just today that was on the low end of quality English but was high on entertainment value. Among my favorite parts is:

I AM WRITING IN RESPECT OF A FOREIGN CUSTOMER OF MY BANK, OPERATING A
DOLLAR /DOMICILLIARY ACCOUNT NO. 00-14-255-018 UTB WHO INCIDENTALLY DIED
IN A PLANE CRASH PANAM-AIR FLIGHT OVER LOCKERBIER IN 1988.
FOLLOWING THE DEMISH OF THIS PERSONALLY KNOWN CUSTOMER MR LAMBART
KRUGGER, I HAVE MADE SEVERAL EFFORTS TO TRACE THE NEXT OF KIN OF MR GRUGGER
WITHOUT SUCCESS.

I am truly sorry about the demish of this personally known customer, but I'm even sorrier that they can't seem to get his personally known name right. Which is it, Krugger of Grugger. I'm not sending $50K unless I know!

These personal pleas, are entertaining and so insane that you wonder why they take the time to send them out. Who would ever believe these. Well, I'll tell you. Morons, and apparently boatloads of them. Never count morons out. The US Secret Service says that hundreds [yes hundreds] of millions [yes millions] of dollars have been lost in these schemes and the number is growing. What was even more interesting about the Scam Mail I received today was that the problem is so bad, that the senders ISP tacked a message warning of Nigerian 419 SPAM right onto the bottom of this actual Scam mail!

I find this sector of the Internet world interesting and entertaining. So much so that I am in the process of compiling Nigerian SPAM Scam emails for a new website dedicated to the morons who fall for this. In fact here's a complete copy of today's mail from Mr. Kwesi Boateng, Froreign Bills Dept. and don't forget to visit the Secret Service webpage linked at the bottom.