Come back again soon....

D. Daphne Dog and I will be on the highway pursuing a big adventure, we'll be back soon. In the meantime we leave you with a symbolic photo for the year 2006, Daphne at the gravesite of her old pal, Tres the Big Gold Dog.

New Years thoughts....

I believe-
That we don't have to change friends if we understand that friends change.

I believe-
That no matter how good a friend is, they're going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that.

I believe-
That true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance. Same goes for true love.

I believe-
That you can do something in an instant that will give you heartache for life.

I believe-
That you should always leave loved ones with loving words. It may be the last time you see them.

I believe-
That you can keep going long after you think you can't.

I believe-
That we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel.

I believe-
That either you control your attitude or it controls you.

I believe-
That money is a lousy way of keeping score.

I believe-
That my best friend and I can do anything or nothing and have the best time.

I believe-
That it is pointless to try and discuss some things with someone who always has to be right.

I believe-
That sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you're down, will be the ones to help you get back up.

I believe-
That sometimes when I'm angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn't give me the right to be cruel.

I believe-
That maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you've had and what you've learned from them and less to do with how many birthdays you've celebrated.

I believe-
That it isn't always enough to be forgiven by others. Sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself.

I believe-
That no matter how bad your heart is broken the world doesn't stop for your grief.

I believe-
That our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become.

I believe-
That just because two people argue, it doesn't mean they don't love each other. And just because they don't argue, it doesn't mean they do.

I believe-
That you shouldn't be so eager to find out a secret. It could change your life forever.

I believe-
That two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different.

I believe-
That your life can be changed in a matter of hours by people who don't even know you.

I believe-
That even when you think you have no more to give, when a friend cries out to you, you will find the strength to help.

I believe-
That the people you care about most in life are taken from you too soon.

Damn....a mullet!

I had a very nice day today, visiting again with the woman who used to be the little girl across street when I was a kid. I took her son and my two nieces to the Chaparral Racing Exhibit at our Petroleum Museum. I could go on about this nice experience and intended to, but something more important happened tonight.

I really hate to go into any 7-11 Store. First I always figure that my luck will run out and the store I'm in will be robbed while I'm there; secondly, the prices are ridiculous, but you knew that. Thirdly, I'm really not a snob, but everytime I'm in a 7-11 most of the people in the place look like they'll be the ones to rob the joint.

But sometimes when picking up only one item a 7-11 comes in handy, rather than driving much further to one of the grocery stores. And tonight I was lucky; I hit the jackpot, I actually saw a guy with an honest to God Mullet haircut. It was one of those curly hair mullets, an A-One super mullet. So surprised was I that I almost uttered, "Damn a mullet" out loud. I thought that even among 7-11 patrons, the mullet was a thing of the past. Not so. The only good thing about guys wearing mullets is that they make me feel so much better about myself.

Christmas: After action report....

With no great expectations and an attitude set at "0" on the positive/negative scale I'd say my Christmas was not all that bad. A whole lot lonlier with my Dad gone and with one less dog, but not all that bad.

My Christmas Eve rounds at the hospital helped me "get out of self" somewhat, so much so that I believe that I'll make that an annual event. Christmas morning gift opening was paltry, but having Daphne is like having a kid around, at least as far as watching excited glee with new toys. Her's is a new knotted rope which she loves to pick apart and even more so she enjoys having me pull on it with her. Enjoys is an understatement. She could do this for hours. She's been carrying it around with her everywhere, even to bed.

I was glad and somewhat surprised that my Mom agreed to go with me to the Serenity AA Club Christmas dinner. These are always well attended, the food is great and plentiful and as my Mom commented, "they sure are a happy bunch". Indeed; and interesting too. Our membership runs the gamut of society including a former managing partner of a national accounting firm, three doctors and the associate minister of a large local church. We have members from some of the wealthiest families in Midland and guys from the Salvation Army trying to get started again. Some members have been prostitutes and some are from the Junior League. Black, white, hispanic and asian, gay and straight. We all have one thing in common, we are all glad to be there and we recognize none of the boundries that might be seen or felt on the "outside".

After my Mom's pleasant experience at Serenity, she commented that she needs to look on the positive side of things more often and to get out and more involved in life again. That was the best Christmas present I could have asked for.

Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas

Ho, Ho, Ho! In honor of the occasion I've put together a little dance number for your entertainment. Filmed entirely on location! Hope you enjoy and we wish you the happiest of holidays.

On the Eve of Christmas....

Frankly Christmas for me, and my Mom, will be sparse this year; for obvious reasons. But we'll try and make the best of what we can. Christmas is a holy day, a family day and a secular holiday, but is also an attitude. Going into Christmas one needs to have a good and proper attitude and a reasonably sane mind concerning ones expectations. I think we're both OK in both areas. Not that it won't be sad, but we plan on having a good, albeit different, Christmas. Church, doing a few things for others and visiting with old friends.

And if I need any help in the "attitude of gratitude" department, I only have to remember back two years. Two years ago, at just about the time I am writing this, I was in surgery, my chest cut open like a chicken, heart and lungs stopped while a team of surgeons repaired the ticker. Not only gratitude, but thanks to all those who were there to repair my body and to see me through the ordeal. Including one whom I won't mention, but that person knows who he/she/it is. Here's a shot of me on Christmas Eve, or perhaps, Christmas I'm not sure which because I wasn't much with it. This Christmas will be more pleasant than that, I can guarantee you!

Holiday wish.....

All the lovely ladies in their finery tonight
I wish that I could know them one by one
All the handsome gentlemen with loving on their minds
Strolling in to take the ladies home
Bless you all and keep you on the road to tenderness
Heaven can be yours just for now.

All the gentle strangers who by nature do not smile
To everyone who cannot hold a pen
To all you heavy rounders with a headache for your pains
Who dread the thought of going round the bend
Bless you all and keep you on the road to better things
Heaven can be yours just for now.

To all the lovely ladies in their finery tonight
I wish that I could kiss you while you knit
To all the ones who learn to live with being second-guessed
Whose job it is to give more then to get
Bless you all and keep you with the strength to understand
Heaven can be yours just for now.

To all the little dreamers with a dream that cannot last
To all the sleeping giants who must wake
To every man who answers to the letter of the law
And all the rest imprisoned by mistake
Bless you all and keep you with the faith to let it pass
Heaven can be yours just for now

To all the lonely sailors who have trouble being seen
To all of you with heartache that remains
Maybe sometime later you might swim back into shore
If someone could relieve you of your chains
Bless you all and keep you all on the land or on the sea
Heaven can be yours, just for now

Gordon Lightfoot

Dog Alert....!!

Who could turn down a face like this? My friend Bryan, herself a dog lover and gold dog owner, found this sweet dog running loose in the 2500 block of Sinclair in Midland. This pooch is housebroken and from my contact with her, very well behaved. And lovable....oh so lovable. Due to all dog lovers we know leaving town for the holidays, we have Pooch safely conveyed to the Animal Shelter with instructions to call us before anything is done with her. We will return to

pick her up if no one claims her. If you know whose dog this might be, or would consider adopting her, please contact me. Did I mention cute....and adorable? She'd be the perfect dog to sleep on your couch!

Dog Tales...

That D. Daphne Dog is a piece of work! A work in progress probably better describes her. I'm steadily more amazed at her intelligence, inventiveness and willingness to try new things. Which come to think of it, actually involves seeing what she can get away with.

Over a month ago, the first time it got really cold at night, I let her sleep in the den on a bed made from an old blanket. This worked well for two nights. On the third night I went to sleep alone and woke up with a dog sleeping so close to me she was almost on top of me. She's been there ever since. I was worried at first that being such an active dog during the day she'd be too active at night also. But she's amazingly inactive, the only time she awakens me is when a "potty" event is necessary at which time she sits up in bed and whines until I get up. I'm used to that, I think I had a wife in Dallas who did that.

Daphne also naps on "our" bed during the day, a perfect spot for any dog. Two walls of the bedroom are almost entirely glass so she can recline while guarding against squirrel attacks and the bed is flooded in sunlight in the afternoon, providing a great spot for catching warm rays. I keep a fleece blanket folded at the end of the bed and I noticed it always seemed to get unfolded as the day wore on. One day I was in the walk-in closet out of D. Daphnes sight, when I heard some commotion on the bed. I peeked around the corner and saw her with the blanket in her mouth, running in circles to spread the blanket out, then stop and paw it into a sort of dog nest. When she had it done to her satisfaction she plopped down and went to sleep.

Pretty good, but now it gets better. I have a two seated couch in the bedroom and lately Daphne has been resting there too. D. Daphne being more a feral dog than the genteel Big Gold Dog, likes to sleep in confined spaces and the pillows on the couch give her that feel. She had additional ideas about how to improve the space though. Last night I heard familiar commotion and spied D. Daph dragging her fleece blanket from "our" bed to her new home. Here's a snapshot of the end result. What a dog.

Daphne has also learned much more in our new closer relationship. Sometimes with dogs it's just a matter of finding the right words to convey our wishes. On walks, for some years, I've fought a losing battle with her runaway pulling behavior. I tried "heal" "halt" "no"....all the usual suspects. But the word "hold" was the missing command. When uttered she's now very good about freezing where she is until I catch up. Same situation with the car. She loves to ride and I have no trouble getting her in, but when we arrive back home I've had problems getting her out when I open her door [yeah she prefers to ride in the back, she likes being chaffeured]. I've tried "come", "here", "let's go" the whole gamut. She would just sit there with that dog look that says, "Stop speaking Lithuanian, I don't understand a word you're saying". That is until I arrived a "jump down". The first time I said that it was like magic. The same with "jump up". Magic.

Daphne has a propensity to whine, which has disturbed me. Whining that there's a squirrel outback, whining that there's a dog out front, whining for me to get up from the computer and do something with her. But as we say, when something is disturbing us we need look no further than ourselves for the problem, so I've decided to use her whining to my advantage; I'm going to teach her to speak English. Now when she starts to whine I whine and howl with her, which does get her going. So far we've made it to the point where she tries to bite my face. We've got a ways to go on this one.

And speaking of magic, magic moments. I visit my Mom each day and have been taking Daphne along. At first my Mom was a little put off by Daphnes wilder side, running through the house smelling each and every thing. But now, Mom is disappointed when Daph is not along. Her attitude has changed so much that I am astounded. Those who know Carol realize that to call her neat and germ free is an understatement; she cleans house before the maid comes. So yesterday while sitting in the living room talking, I was flabbergasted when Daphne jumped up on the good white couch and sat down right next to Mom [actually nothing surprises me with Daphne, but I feigned flabbergastedness]. I told Daphne to jump down, but instead my Mom said, "oh let her stay". What a picture, my little 83 year old Mom sitting on the couch right next to Dahpne, looking quite the little lady herself.

Counting Blessings....

As the administrator of the mineral trust I help create back in 1998, I had to go to the bank Tuesday to sign off on the preliminary year end accounting. This is the only time each year I know, or want to know, how it's doing. Wow. It's doing stunningly well. I'm glad and blessed that all that work in '98, '99 and 2000 paid off for those who invested in it.

Knowing how much my share is worth is a blessing, and a curse, though actually I've had worse curses. When we set up the trust I had a covenant added putting a big penalty on withdrawls for the first five years. That was up last year and of course the thought of significant potential money in one's pocket tends to burn holes. But, I've decided to let my portion ride. In another 18 or 24 months the value of my share may perhaps cross a magic financial threshold. I can wait, I'm pretty content with life now, don't need much [though want a lot!] so I can wait. In fact in the emotional transition zone I'm in, it's better to wait. An emotional fool and his money are easily parted. Though I've thought of some ways to part with a portion of it that sound good, foolish or not.

Lately I've been pretty busy and I count that a blessing too. Thanks to friends, I have things upcoming to look forward to. I like looking forward to things.

After Christmas I've been invited down to the new Hill Country home of my long time, close friends Gen. Tom Hill and wife Toni. I've known Tom and Toni since college and once lived with them at Ft. Benning Ga. Daphne's invited and it doesn't hurt that Toni's younger, gorgeous sister Leanna will be there.

In early February I'm going to meet author friend Joe Galloway at a "celebrity" quail hunt in Abilene. I'm not a celebrity. I'll probably be the official celebrity photographer, bird boy and designated driver. Joe is bringing an old friend of his, Gen. Norman Schwarzkopf. A privelage to pick up the General's birds and take some photos.

Finally and the coup d'grace of my upcoming travels; on February 26th I'll be in the White House to see my good pal, and annual visitor to the estate, Bruce Crandall receive the Congressional Medal of Honor. Bruce and Arlene are bringing a friend too, actor Greg Kinnear who played Bruce in the film, We Were Soldiers. Daphne is not invited here, but will stay with my Mom, who has taken a real shine to her.

Truly blessed; most importantly with friends, but also with some interesting opportunities. My horoscope on my birthday said that I was entering a new 11 year good luck cycle, perhaps this is the start!

Bits and pieces......

From today's Midland Reporter-Telegram I've gleaned the top stories.

The biggest story has to be the death of famed animator Joseph Barbera, creator of Yogi Bear, The Flintstones and The Jetsons. His work originated in the 1930's and lasted until only recently. He had a profound influence not only on the world of animation but also on a generation of little dweebs like me who drove our parents crazy with years of "Hey BooBoo" and "Yabba Dabba Doo".

Known for weeks now is the fact that Johnny's Barbeque was purchased by a foreigner...from Odessa! Today his diabolical plans for change were announced. He will actually change a wall. This is unheard of at the historic joint. Moreover he plans to have a drive-thru window and serve breakfast in addition to "expanding" the menu. This probably irks Johnny to no end; his motto has been, "hey it was good enough in 1959, it's good today". But making up for this massive upheavel in tradition is the fact that the new owner promises to keep all the long time employees, many who came to my Dad's recent funeral. After all it's people like Luther, who make Johnny's, Johnny's.

And hey sports fans, it's college bowl season again! While reading the listing for this years ever expanding number of bowl games the thought occured to me, "I wonder if this is about money". Surely not. But I wonder what your favorite bowl will be? Back in the good ol' days [when the Flintstones were on] the bowl names were simple, direct, meant something in regional terms and they rolled off the tongue; Sugar Bowl, Cotton Bowl, Orange Bowl, Rose Bowl. Most good ones were named after plants. The road downward probably started with the now, I guess, defunct Tangerine Bowl. Someone thought that the fruit named bowl route was the way to go and since Orange was taken, hey the next best fruit is a tangerine. The rest is history. But back to my favorites. The two I won't want to miss are the PapaJohnsPizza.Com Bowl and the Meineke Car Care Center Bowl. You could name all the Flinstone era bowls in the time it takes to say that one. And tonight it's the Poinsetta Bowl, at least it's back to a plant name. And TCU will be playing so I'll probably catch part of that one. I like TCU, almost went to school there and have 5 people I know who played football there. Two of whom went on to play Pro ball. Ross Montgomery from Midland High [Bears] and a good business and hunting buddy of mine, Jim Vanderslice, in Dallas who went on to play 8 years with the '49's. I'll watch in tribute to Ross and Jim. But God forbid and I make a mistake and turn on that bowl that has the blue field, it hurts my head.

And that's the news for today....

At last...

And today, I learned several new reasons to be grateful!!

Recovering from the 3 "D"s....

Dog's death, Divorce and Dad's death. All in a row, all very close.

I've been to more social events lately than in ages. Some purely social, some with people wanting to offer condolensces and see how my Mom and I are doing. There are some very good and caring people in this world. When I'm at any function, like last night at a Christmas party, people ask, "how are you doing". Usually they mean, in specific, my Dad's passing but many mean the whole triad of sadness in their "how are you doing"?

I tell them I'm OK, at peace, with the passing of the Big Gold Dog and my Dad. Some give me that look like, "are you sure, do your words match your heart"? They do. Though my heart is sad and lonely without the two souls I loved so much, I couldn't have asked God for a better plan in their passing. And two words, two thoughts drummed into me at AA over the years paid big dividends. Those are acceptance and gratitude.

D: The failing health and death of my dog and my Dad had similar paths. I found out that Tres had a serious tumor around the 1st of July; I knew that he was old and that the tumor would probably speed his departure. I therefore had time to prepare for and accept his coming death and to spend as much time as I could with him, helping him do the things he loved and could still do. Like making a painful journey out to the front yard each day to lay in the sun, smell the scents dogs smell and to hear life passing by, for by this time he was functionally deaf and blind also. For those days when I saw him sunning himself at his home I am eternally grateful and will remember him that way. He was able to do this just days before he died. I'm grateful that he knew he was loved until the end and I'm grateful that he passed away, naturally, right outside my bedroom door, and that at 6 a.m. he woke me from a sound sleep to let me know his soul was passing on.

D: Likewise with my Dad. His health had been failing for years and my Mom and I accepted the fact that at 81, 82, or 83 he did not have long to go. As we watched him get more frail and unable to do more and more things I accepted that the time would come soon. I'm grateful that I was able to be here, close and sober to help out all I could. For the last year and a half we had eaten at Johnny's Barbeque each and every Thursday. My Dad was grateful for that one little bit of adventure, seeing old friends and sometimes just remembering his life with me. When he could no longer bear to walk and sit at the restaurant, he would drive with me and sit in the car. He was grateful for that too. Then when he could no longer even ride in the car, I picked up lunch for him at home. Grateful as ever when I told him everyone at Johnny's had asked about him. His spirit remained positive until the end, gratitude coming in smaller packages. You should have seen the smile on his face when I brought his daily ration of Hersheys Bars and he then whispered in my ear, "be sure to bring more tomorrow". He lived the last week on chocolate and Blue Bell ice cream.

I'm grateful that even almost until the end he had been able to walk a little around the house, that he still had most of his memory, knew we loved him and that we all were ready for his passing. He told me he was ready to go. And most of all I'm grateful to God that he put me in my Dad's room as he started to slip away, the only family member present. I think they, my Dad and God, planned it that way. My Dad and I had a special bond in our family. I had dreaded the thought of being in the room when he died, but now I'm eternally grateful and would not have had it any other way. It has given me a special sense of peace.

D: I wish I had as much peace about the divorce. Honestly there has not been a night gone by since June 1st that I have gone to sleep without some degree of emotional turmoil about that subject. Frankly it's a mixture of anger, disappointment and a large degree of sadness. I have wondered why, when I can find so much acceptance and gratitude about two deaths, can't I arrive at the same outcome with the divorce. I cannot, at present, find much to be grateful for. But like a soup pot on the stove, my thoughts have gone from simmering to boiling over and the broth has distilled down to the essecence that at least, in my mind, I can start to accept.


And once again thank you to all who have cared so much, sent cards, emails, phoned and who have improved my social life. There are too many to name but you know who you are....and so do I. Thanks.

Blog on Piglets....

Not to be outdone by that other local blogger guy at that Ant Newspaper, I too would like to announce a new, to wider distribution anyway, Blogger. Lisa has been a friend for a year or so and only recently I found that besides also being a football photographer, [MC Mustangs] she also has an interesting business, Harley, and other stuff blog The Piglet Papers.

In a bit of serendipity, I had read an interesting article in the local paper a week or so ago about business entrepeneurship. The article had a picture of the author, one Lisa. The picture was of Lisa in her business mode, the Lisa I know is usually in her Harley mode. I had made a mental note to contact the "business Lisa", not realizing that I already knew her as "Harley Lisa".

And welcome to a friend of the Midland Blogger Community, who is now a participant. The ever popular, talented and soft spoken: Janie!

Col. Bruce Wallace....Gone West

If the WWII age group is the "Greatest Generation", then we've just lost one of the greatest of them all. After surviving three wars our good friend, Col. Bruce Wallace has Gone West, flying into the setting sun. Bruce died on Wednesday.

I had the privelage of getting to know Col. Wallace well over the years through our involvement in the Confederate Air Force. As Bruce revealed more of his story to me it was hard to believe it was all true, but it was. Bruce would have me down doing push ups if I called him a hero, so I'll leave it at an "army legend".

Read Bruce's fabulous story

Good bye sir! Mission accomplished.

Baaaaad Dog...!

As I've mentioned, D. Daphne Dog has been very much a blessing throughout the last months. Always happy and wagging her tail, always active and inquisative about things; it's just nice to have her around. And for a dog that was not really house trained when she was given her reprieve to start living inside....she's done remarkably well. Only one, maybe two "pee pee" incidents and one "poop".

She's easily trainable and has learned to let me know when she needs to go out to "potty" [a generic term for either of the two functions mentioned above]. She whines. Of course she whines for a lot of other reasons too, so I have had to learn the "potty" whine. I learned it after the second and final "pee pee" episode I think.

Anyway you get the drift, Daphne has come a long way baby. But she does have her moments when, I believe, the trauma of her past life causes her to act out. Last night she acted out on our luxurious quilted bedspread, ripping a hole smack dab in the middle and pulling the stuffing out. I say luxurious, perhaps it was more like a pretty old, somewhat ratty bedspread. But it is now where Daphne sleeps, me too, so to her I'm sure it seemed luxurious. Why she did this is open for discussion but I think that the pain and trauma of being forced to stay outdoors during her childhood years sometimes is too much for her to bear. Also the bedspread was on the floor as I washed the sheets, so it presented a target of opportunity too great not to unleash her inner aggressions on.

But no mind, a bedspread is just stuff, a dog is a dog, dogs are more important than stuff. But she had to be reprimanded and so I used the technique used by some women I've known....a good dose of sour looks and quilt. Guilt, at least on me, works better than any other form of punishment. Even when I've done nothing wrong, some women have that certain knack of imparting the suggestion of guilt that makes me wonder. Though I may be perfectly innocent "now", they presume that I may have done this wrong in the past or perhaps might do it in the future, so why not be made to feel guilty about it "now".

So this was Daphne's punishment. One she's seen before. She's a master of deflection however. I usually start out with {low tone} "Daphne, did you do this"? At which time she starts glancing around looking for any other dogs I might be talking to. Since the Big Gold Dog is no longer here to deflect suspicion onto, Daphne now gets nowhere with this technique. Next I bring her over and have her sit down right in front of the evidence and, knowing that she's almost human I speak to her like a child, "Daphne, why oh why did you do this to our "good" bedspread". I can also read her mind. She's thinking, "Daphne, why oh why did you get caught".

After five or so minutes of constant low tone guilt imparting to Daphne, she'd had enough and decided to just lie down sad eyed and take it. I knew this was sufficient so I asked, "Daphne, do you have to go potty". At which time she bounded to the back door, did her business and when she came in I gave her a treat and said, "Good Dog". Dog and man happy as larks once again.....

Praise Be......

After a month long struggle, I finally completed the sale of my Dad's car late yesterday afternoon. As described previously, this has been an ordeal. Begun two weeks before my Dad passed away, completed two weeks after his death.

After a saga of trying to get funds transfered in, the delay due to my Dad's passing and then my sainted Mother "misplacing" the title, it's over, signed sealed and delivered, all completed at the Midland County Annex without a trip to Odessa. A friendly state employee tipped me off to the fact that I would not have to get the title reissued in my Dads' name if I would provide the proper forms and documents, including a death certificate. So, after a day of procuring and signing said forms I met the purchaser, nurse Bobby with check in hand, to close the deal. I was, however, fully prepared to have some minor bureaucratic snag delay the deal once more. "Oh you don't have Texas form TX24354, 'dispostion of a deceased WWII veterans vehicle', sorry you'll have to get that signed." But no problems. Deal done.

It was, however, sad seeing the car that I used to see my Dad tooling around in being driven off to Odessa. But the car won't miss a beat, and it's rather appropriate.....Nurse Bobby is a heavy smoker.

Time Marches On.....

Over the past 15 or so years that I've been back in Midland I occasionally have had fraternity brothers stop by while in town on business or when just traveling through. But time marches on and now I have children of my fraternity brothers calling to visit while in town on business.

Today I had a nice visit with Lauren, one of the daughters of my fishing pal John Stephens. A lovely and smart woman with a degree in finance from UT who works for oil entrepeneurs in Houston. She looks like her Dad, though a whole lot cuter.

Duckumentary....

Noting my new career as a duck photographer, alert reader Martha P. suggests..."Maybe you should produce a “duckumentary”.

Coated with memories....

I had to be at a function mid-morning today when the temperature was still very chilly. I decided to wear a forest green fleece jacket that I hadn't worn since last years cold weather.

As I drove to the event, the sunlight caught many straw colored hairs on the coat; left overs from a blonde woman and a golden dog. Both gone. One who couldn't wait to leave while the other was desperate to stay. So many memories, complicated and sad, all because of a few hairs on a coat.

Sometimes I'm sorry that I'm a big emotional sap like this.....mostly though I'm not.

Lunching with the stars.....

As I mentioned, I have dined out for lunch every day this week with some of the finest people and greatest minds of the 21st Century. Tuesday it was the Media Magnates of the local blog scene, Wednesday with nature expert, Burr Williams, Thursday, in honor of my Dad I was treated to lunch at Johnnie's Barbeque by an old friend of the family and my high school days. Bob's dad was an oil pioneer of the Permian Basin and is a smart and succesful man in his own right. What about Monday....well that's none of your bidness.

Today I had the privelage, once again, of lunching with Dr. David Lambert, director of the McDonald Observatory and chairman of the University of Texas Astronomy Dept. With several PhD's from Oxford in Astrophysics and the like I'd have to rank him right up there with my Blog Buddies in the brains department [you all owe me one for that statement!].

Actually I had been invited to this function some time ago but with all the sad goings-on I'd forgotten about the invitation until Bob mentioned it at lunch yesterday, he's going too. It was an RSVP affair so I immediately called Dr. Lambert's assistant, Dr. Barna down at the UT astronomy school in Austin. Of course, being the scholarly type myself, my first question was "Hi Joel, What are you having for lunch". When Joel told me that a delicate melody of chicken in a glazed creme sauce was on the menu, I said, "sounds good Bubba, count me in" And so I was.

It somewhat amazes me that this is the second time in a year that a guy [me] who was a solid "C" student in high school would be dining with multiple astrophysicists. But there I was chatting away with my tablemate, Dr. Gary Hill, another Oxford PhD. I was representing our planetarium which is partnering with UT and the Observatory on some exciting joint projects, so I worked very hard to comprehend everything anything that Gary was talking about. Though from York, England and in excellent command of that language he might as well have been speaking Croatian.

The subject of today's meeting was the UT/McDonald's Hobby-Eberly telescope which when finished will study, "dark energy". I liked Dr. Hill a lot. Not only is he one of the world's leading experts on "dark energy" but also invented the concept for the telescope. A nice guy who apparently detected "dark energy" inside my head and so could explain the concept in a way that I understood. The way I undertand it, "dark energy" is something that cannot be seen but they know it's there because.....well it just has to be. In effect Gary has figured out a way to detect and measure nothing. Why didn't I think of that? But I think it helped my intellectual standing with Gary when I threw out the question, "what sort of alogrithmic progression is involved with this". Alogrithmic progression being a term I just had comes to grips with in another lunch with Internet guru Eric Siegmund.

[truthfully, orginally planning on being an Oxford astrophysicist myelf {hamstrum only be abyssmal grades} I do understand the concept of the Hobby-Eberly Telescope, or HET as we call it. The big new plus in the HET is it's ability to map much larger sections of the night sky than conventional telescopes, thus highlighting changes more rapidly. The data is analyzed using spectroscopy to measure the speed and distance of objects in the expanding universe.]

Truly an interesting Friday lunch marred only by the fact that Sara Lou Grimes dribbled strawberry vinegarette on my new, almost like silk, slacks. While Gary was talking about "dark energy" and it's implications for mankind, I was worried about a pink stain on my pants. I guess that's why he's an astrophysicist and I'm not.

The Deal from Hell.....

I was trying to sell my Dad's car a week before he died. I was trying to sell it the day he died and now, over a week later I'm still trying to finalize the sale. Not that there's a problem with the deal, we have a willing buyer, we are willing sellers and the price has been agreed up. No the problem is with the process.

A nurse, one of my Dad's caregivers, is purchasing the car and for five days I worked with her on getting money transfered into our account from her out of town small bank. So small it closed at 2 pm every day and there was only one banker to talk to who apparently spent most of his "open" hours away from the bank. The nurse called me several times each day wanting to know when she could get the car, not fully comprehending that we needed to be paid first. A nice person, just a tad pesky. I finally decided I had better things to get phone calls about so I turned the whole affair over to my banker, Garth, whose father was a friend of my Dad's.

In fact I had just come from the bank and Garth when I arrived at my Dad's hospital room in time for me to be there with him when he left this earthly realm. I told my Dad I loved him and how much he meant to us as I held his hand.....but I would have also like to add, "go in peace, we just sold your car".

But the story goes on. Garth called while I was still in my Dad's room telling me that he was working on the "deal" and when he found out that Dad had passed away minutes before he said, "uh oh, you'd better sign the title with his name". Probate you know.

One hour later as I arrived home, the "nurse" called to see how the "deal" was going and incidentally asked how my Dad was doing. I said, "the deal is going fine, my Dad is not, he just died". I could hear the pregnant pause before she said she was sorry, but I know she wanted to ask if this was going to slow the "deal" down. Thankfully, she didn't. In fact she called later that night to say that she understood this wasn't the time to do the "deal" and she'd call back. Which she did in two days to which she added, "don't worry about the money transfer, I have a cashiers check". Fine and dandy. I'd said I call in a few days to transfer title when we were in better shape to accomplish that. End of story.....

No unfortunately the story still goes on. Today was the day to "do the deal". The "nurse" and I agreed to meet at my Mom's house at 3 p.m. The car is there as were the keys and title which I had placed on a coffee table in my Mom's living room, knowing that I would need these soon. I called my Mom this morning to tell her we would be by this afternoon to close the "deal". "Fine", she said...."but where is the title". I could have wept. I won't go into details but after searching the whole house the title has mysteriously flown the coop.

So the "deal" is still a work in progress for now I get to go to the nearest state title office in Odessa armed with death certificates, registration and other assorted forms to try and wheedle a duplicate title out of them.

After the last 5 months of real trials, this is really just baby stuff but still a pain in the keester. I surmise that God thinks I wouldn't be happy if I didn't have some troubles to work on...maybe He's right. Or perhaps just a reminder that "this ain't nothin". I was reminded of what is important; as we looked for the title even in my Dad's desk, my Mom finally broke down sobbing saying, "Looking at all his personal things, it finally hits me that he's really gone". Me too, now that's important.

Thanks......

Thanks is not a strong enough word for me to give to everyone who has shown their care, compassion and support of my Mom and me in the last week. But Thanks!

My Mom has been kept busy writing at least one hundred thank you notes in response to flowers, food, phone calls, donations to our charities and for people who have been there when it counted. She's the old fashion type that can't rest until each and every note has been written. More of us should be like that I suppose. It's probably good therapy for her too.

I too have been overwhelmed with the kindness and caring of friends and frankly from people whom I don't know all that well and even more surprising are the calls and cards from people I met during my previous four years existance. I've had cassaroles delivered, flowers sent, cards, calls, emails from Hong Kong and Australia and this week I've been booked for lunch each and every day. If anyone thinks that anything is more important than family and good friends, they've yet to learn much about life. Well, dogs too, you knew I meant dogs as friends and family.

And my social scene is even looking up. I had a very lovely woman whom I've known for a long time call me last night to ask me to the theater this Friday. Mary is a charming, vivacious and interesting woman and although she's a little older than I, she is a riot. She is a little hard of hearing but you might be too if you were almost 91 years old.

Blog-o-rama Italiano....

Stay tuned and come back later for very big and exciting news.......

OK, I really didn't have any big news, but I did stay at a Holiday Inn Express last week. What actually occured was that I was invited to lunch today with some of the most influential media minds of the 21st Century who were kind enough to want to brighten up my attitude after the previous hard months I've endured. It was most appreciated.

Pictured above with me at left are stalwarts of the blog-o-sphere Eric Siegmund, Jimmy Patterson, Jeff McDonald and Darryl Ward. Our luncheon was held at the somewhat new Italian Village, owned by Albanians I think, but it was superb. Excellent food, impeccable service in a sophisticated atmoshphere, perfect for our level of savoir faire. Or at least for a well traveled newspaperman like Jimmy. Four of us had standard, and very good, Italian fare. Jimmy had scampi. Four of us had water, Jimmy had iced tea. Big expense accounts make you used to that kind of luxury I suppose.

With such a strong philosophical base the luncheon discussion was varied and eclectic with topics ranging from 17th century literature and algorithmic ratios to the vagaries of our religous and spirtitual experiences. Oh yeah, if you weren't there we may have talked about you too.

Eric spoke so highly of algorithms, I thought that was what he was having for lunch, so I ordered some too. The Albanian guy said they were not in season so I had eggplant parmigiana. It was as good as the algorithms I'm sure. A splendid time and I appreciate the heartfelt care and concern that led to this, the first somewhat annual or sooner Midland Blogger Roundtable. It's great to have such friends. We are planning the next roundtable and as choices for the site, we have narrowed it down to the Grand Hotel in Geneva, Switzerland or Johnnie's Barbeque.

A few more personal shots can be viewed at: The Eclectic Photographer

Monday....

Monday Monday, so good to me,
Monday Monday, it was all I hoped it would be
Oh Monday morning, Monday morning couldn't guarantee
That Monday evening you would still be here with me.

Monday Monday, can't trust that day,
Monday Monday, sometimes it just turns out that way
Oh Monday morning, you gave me no warning of what was to be
Oh Monday Monday, how could you leave and not take me.

Every other day, every other day,
Every other day of the week is fine, yeah
But whenever Monday comes, but whenever Monday comes
You can find me cryin' all of the time.......

Moving on.....

Tomorrow, it will be a week ago that my Dad died, yet I think the next few days will be the worst, especially for my Mom.

In the days since his death we have been busy making arrangements, planning his farewell service and distracted from the sadness by a multitude of friends and family. My brother and sister, their families and childhood friends of mine have been pleasant diversions from the fact that my Dad is no longer here. I've had some genuinely hilarious moments of laughter with my old friends about events involving my Dad that occured long ago. Even an old girlfriend of mine whom I haven't heard from in many years, when she learned of my Dad's passing, drove down from New Mexico yesterday to visit with my Mom and me. My brother departed Friday evening, my sister left Saturday and now we are left alone with our thoughts.

We've been busy in the day or so since my Dad's service with friends, my Mom with thank you's and me with delivering floral arrangements to various charities. With 30+ large arrangements at her house we decided that perhaps we ought to share our friends floral generosity with others. My sister and I delivered the first flowers to hospice at the hospital an obvious first choice, but also so that Susan could see where her Dad left this earth and to meet the caregivers who saw him out with so much dignity.

My Mom and Dad were married for 60 years and although my Mom liked the solitude of the house during the day, there were very few nights over those decades that she was without him at home...or with the prospect of his return. There'll be no return this time and I'm sure the house will seem a lonely place.

All this is made easier with a lifetime of wonderful memories of my Dad and with the outpouring of care, compassion and love we have received from friends. My Mom has had a contstant stream of visitors, food, calls and cards. Me, I've had cards, calls and well wishes from almost everyone I've encountered. Some from people I haven't known well or have only recently met. Like the card from the parents of friends in the MHS football boosters club, people whom I've only seen on Friday night's for several months. Those mean a lot. They all mean a lot. And what has recently transpired in my life, including my Dad's passing, has reminded me once again what is important in this life. And those are dedicated friends, loving family and faithful dogs, not broken shower doors. Thank you one and all......

Closure....

It was a glorious late fall day for my Dad's memorial service, on his Mom's birthday. I had my final closure with him holding his hand as he died, my Mom had said her good-byes the day before he died so the service, really, was for my brother, sister and their families. And for the 100's of friends who cared so much about "Big Wally" who were in attendance. Including, many of the employees of Johnny's Barbeque. That would have pleased my Dad the most I think as well as says volumes about him. Here's the family who, besides a cousin and an aunt in Virginia, are the only close relatives left. Thanks to all who loved my Dad.

I was honored to give the eulogy for my Dad and as I thought on the way to the pulpit and in fact said to the congregation in my opening. "You all knew and loved my Dad, what more do I have to say that will add to that". I've had closure on several issues in the last several days I think my Dad would have wanted that too.