You never know...

You just never know what value people put on different things. It's odd.

Saturday afternoon my main AA group, Serenity, held an auction of donated items to help defray the cost of some renovations to our meeting place. AA people are generous to a fault. People brought what their means allowed and since AA has a varied membership there were items small and large. Many people brought gift baskets that they had either put together or purchased. There were brand new small appliances, art good and bad, lamps, electronics, sporting goods, a dove hunt on one of the major ranches south of town, a weekend stay at a B&B a member owns in Fredericksburg, an antique coke machine and this year several larger pieces of furniture including a wooden filing cabinet I had my eyes on. I donated two of my favorite photos matted and framed.

We have 200+ members in our group and many of these drifted in and out, but for the most part 30 or so were present at any one time. I couldn't pass up buying some wooden gold gilt picture frames for $5 a throw. These are $50 items if bought new and I also had spied two antique rocking chairs with handmade embroided seats. I thought to myself that these would be the stars of the show with at least all the women bidding on them. A big box of CD's went for $95 so the chairs, I assumed, would go for well over the $100 mark. When the time came for the chairs no minimum bid was set and no one appeared to be anxious to open the bidding, so I offered $20...for both. Silence. Surely I thought someone really wants these and is just waiting to jump the bid way up. Silence. And then the auctioneer said, "Sold for $20".

I was stunned. How could people be buying fragrant soap gift baskets for $20 and $30 but I end up with two antiques for two 10 spots. But indeed I did. You can never tell what people are interested in.

I got my wooden filing cabinet for $90. My photos, I'm pleased to say, were bid on by 4 or 5 people and ended up going for $80. The going price, I suppose, for 8 antique rockers! Take a look, see if you think I got a deal, more probably a steal.

Rocker Update: I found out late this morning that the two rockers I bought were donated by a friend of mine. She wanted to know what I paid for them, but I wouldn't divulge that. Their family owned a famous West Texas business that I won't name but it rhymes with "Stinkies". These were from her grandmothers house at their ranch.

Post Game....

What a great evening for the MHS Bulldogs to slaughter the Lee High Rebels. We smeared them [now there's a word from my HS days]. Final score Dawgs 38 Rebels 21. A good game really and for many Bulldog fans rather troubling in the 1st quarter when the Rebels scored first and rather easily.

But the Dawgs responded in kind and kept up the effort. Star running back Brandon Batch went over 1000 yds. for the season; a feat made all the more special because his brother Barron was in attendance. Barron is the all time leading rusher at MHS and is now a running back for Texas Tech, though out of commission this season due to an injury. I had a nice visit with both brothers, nice kids.

Always a great time visiting with the players, coaches and other photographers during the game. A good evening, but everyone was ready to go home after the victory. It was cold...for West Texas. Enjoy some game pictures.

The Big Game....

It's the Big Day. The Big Game against crosstown rivals Lee High School. I'll be out at the stadium with my new compadres and compadrettes eating pre-game barbeque and cheering the Dawgs on while takin' some pix from the sidelines! See you there!

If it's game day, you need some pep!

Up from the doldrums...

Nothing like interesting activities to thwart further doldrumism.

I spent most of the afternoon, visiting with a recently relocated developer who has been in the local news lately. Things look to be brewing for me there. Bill is a new neighbor whom I met on my dog walks in the last months. We've become friendly and more than just talking business, he is a sports car racing enthusiast. Something I had guessed at by the really sweet Nissan NSX [top speed 165+ mph] he has had parked in the driveway occasionally. I found out today that among other "toys" he also has a Ferrari, soon to arrive.

Today while we talked business Bill, his wife and I drove down to Chaparral Racing to look around with my buddy Jim who manages the operations. Bill was impressed that the Chaparral Racing facilities have changed little from the glory days of the 1960's and that inside the nondescript buildings sit $5-7 million dollars worth of vehicles; the personal collection of owner Jim Hall. From a $1.2 million Ferrari Monza to a 1909 Cadillac to a classic 1957 Mercedes Gull Wing. All in mint condition. And like discovering King Tut's tomb, another whole room arrived at through a darkened old shop contains a Pennzoil Indy car, a 1963 Lotus Formula One car and a prototype racing Chevrolet Corvette that Jim Hall tested as well as a myriad of historic autos from the teens, 20's and 30's, like a Locomobile and a Whippet.

However the highlight of the tour was taking several laps around Rattlesnake Raceway, the test track. Bill was impressed, I loved doing that again, but his wife kept yelling, "slow down" so I'm not sure she liked it as much. I only got up to 90 mph.

Along on the tour were our soon to be County Judge and two members from a state transportion agency who may further our goal of having the Chaparral site be designed an historic area....and to have cars driving there again.

And....I've been wanting to do just a photo related Blog and here it is: Eclectic Photography

The Doldrums...

In spite of my best efforts, some days are just the doldrums for me lately. Losing loved ones will do that. Departed wives, stepsons, dogs and soon dads are not easy things to handle. Anger, resentment and sadness are things that will pass, with some work, but we have to let them run their course.

To everything - turn, turn, turn
There is a season - turn, turn, turn
And a time for every purpose under heaven

A time to be born, a time to die
A time to plant, a time to reap
A time to kill, a time to heal
A time to laugh, a time to weep

In moments like these I start to think, a dangerous game sometimes for me. I get to thinking about cashing in the chips and moving to new locales. The "geographical cure" we call it in AA. If I'm not happy here every moment, surely I will be joyful every day if only [take your pick] I lived somewhere else, I did something else, I was with someone else.

In 1998 I associated myself with a group of guys in the oil business who were mostly working for themselves, but for the common good of us all. They were engineers, geologists and landmen. We all contributed money and/or professional services to get projects done. Since I was not in any of those professions we decided that my niche should be starting a mineral interest [royalty] buying program. Those were dark days in the petroleum business with oil prices dipping below $10/bbl. at one point. Mineral interests were proportionally cheap. Most of our partners and some outside investors would put up the money to purchase the interests while I organized the program, did the leg work and bought the minerals. For my work, I received a 10% direct participation in the fund. We bought minerals for three years.

Since then, things in the oil business have changed, to say the least. Oil prices have risen 5-8 times higher now increasing our funds worth by at least that much and drilling has increased on our holdings further adding to the value. My stake has grown from nice to really nice which is what gets me thinking. Cash it all in, move to New Mexico and be forever and eternally blissful.

Then, that AA trained voice in my head kicks in with the sometimes sad but always true axiom, "Where ever you go, there you are". Damn AA sometimes, but I remember what Abe Lincoln said, too; "People are just about as happy as they make up their minds to be". Where ever they are....

Pleasant day into night...

A good day to forget cares and woes while working with a good crowd on a beautiful day at the Sibley Center History Day and later, thanks to a kind invitation, a pleasant interlude this evening.

Living History.....

Cardinals: World Champions!

For those around the Midland area, especially if you have grade school children, you might like to visit the Sibley Nature Center's living history day on Saturday. Today was MISD day and we had close to 900 kids through the exhibits. Most appeared to be paying close attention to the "buffalo soldiers", ranch cooks and civil war soldiers, but all were thrilled when the muskets fired and the cannon's roared. A good time seemed to be had by the kids, as you can tell from this photo of my friend Martha and her class.

History Day pictures...

One day at a time...

I think it's important for my Dad to try and retain as much of normal life as he possibly can. Thursday has been our barbeque day for a year or so, one of his most enjoyed diversions. He loves to be out in public on the off chance of catching one of his old pals for a moment of conversation. Frankly he also enjoys escaping the clutches of negativity he encounters at home. His attitude changes dramatically when we have made the trip downtown and for the hour or so we sit in the restaurant.

Unforunately with his latest problems we haven't been able to make the trip; but I have picked up the barbeque and taken it to him. Today when I called to make sure he felt up to eating fat on a bun, I was rather shocked. His voice was as it had been 20 years ago, strong, clear and without hesitation. It was so different it really took me aback. I asked if he wanted me to pick up the sandwiches. Surprisingly he asked if he could ride along, though he didn't quite feel up to going inside. I picked him up and he made the trip in admirable fashion, especially enjoying the visit by several longtime employees of Johnny's who always ask me about him whenever I go in alone.

I really hated to take him back so soon, as his attitude soon sank back slowly. The thought of being back inside for the day and frankly my dear sainted mother were, I suppose the cause of this. How someone can continually find the dark lining inside a silver cloud as she does is beyond me. If you try, you can always find negatives in every person or situation, just as you can find positives. Why some people insist on dwelling on the former is a mystery to me and one that frankly I've had to face several times in the last four or five months. Negative thinking yields negative results. But my Dad and I cope with this the best we can. Sadly, I'm now to the point of sneaking large chocolate bars into him, which he hides in his bedroom. He makes a point of telling me not to let her see them.

But, my Dad and I had a pleasant ride on a beautiful fall day and for that I'm grateful. Tomorrow he and I have plans to bust him out for a trip to Swensons.

The Key....

And acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing, or situation---some fact of my life ---unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing, or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment. Nothing, absolutetly nothing, happens in God's world by mistake. Until I could accept my alcoholism, I could not stay sober; unless I accept life completely on life's terms, I cannot be happy. I need to concentrate not so much on what needs to be changed in the world as on what needs to be changed in me and my attitudes. When I focus on what's good today, I have a good day, and when I focus on what's bad, I have a bad day. If I focus on a problem, the problem increases; If I focus on the answer, the answer increases.


From the book, Alcoholics Anonymous, pg 417

In the past months of run-away brides, dearly departed dogs, dying Dads and difficult Mothers, acceptance is indeed the key to whatever serenity I have in life.

I cannot make someone love me, keep Dad's or dogs from dying, nor at 83 years of age expect my Mother to change a lifetime of emotional character. I can, however, chose to accept these facts as they are and make the decision to do the next right thing, for me and those around me. God has a plan for me. I think he's narrowed it down to three choices: A] a rubber room in the looney bin. B] on a slab with a broken heart [literally] or C] becoming a stronger, wiser and more useful human being. God gives us the basics, it's up to us to carry it out. I choose "C", "A" and "B" are rather unappealing to me right now.

Balancing act...

Life with elderly parents these days is a balancing act. I juggle trying to understand my Mother's stress and help her cope, while countering her fatalistic attitude with a positive game face around my dying Dad. Like a high wire act we get perilously close to losing it and then regain balance and move on.

Today I signed the papers for my Dad to enter into home hospice, but not without some cross words between my Mom and Dad, who in their fear and anxiety say things I know they don't really mean. One moment my Mom decides that she can't handle this anymore, while my Dad says he's ready to go to a home and die, not easy to hear. But with a few moments of quiet and then some words about the reality, we're back on track to matters at hand.

The hospice people stress that their care does not mean the end, in fact, they say many people live for years in hospice and some even recover and end the service. Realistically these probably don't apply to my Dad, but he and I like to hear a positive attitude. This notwithstanding, I knew that by signing I was writing the final chapter in his life. Not an easy thing to do, but the care promises to solve problems for us all.

Two kind nurses spent all morning with us evaluating the situation, telling us of their services and making some initial suggestions. I was more than glad to be able to get them aside and ask them to try and help my Mom handle the situation in a more positive and less stressful manner. My dear Mother is the type of person, with whom I am not unfamiliar, who tends to make up her mind based on facts of her own invention, decide she's right and act on them.

My Dad's one joy, it seems lately, is eating loads of ice cream and chocolate bars. My Mom has decided that he should be eating only healthy foods, which she prepares, and that all the sweets is one of the things that has set him back. She has been somewhat miserly in doling these treats out to my Dad causing cross words between them. I've tried to dispel this theory, but with little success. I was therefore extremely pleased that when she told of how she was cutting back on the sweets the nurses said, don't, the fat and calories are good for him. Score one for the truth.

I had a nice spiritual refresher after the tough morning however; I had been asked to photograph the stained glass windows in the sanctuary of the First United Methodist Church and today seemed like a good day for that. So I had a quiet respite beneath those lovely windows and later a personal serenade by the practicing organist. While in church I often like to look at the beauty of the windows, especially the ones on the south side which receive so much sunlight and around noon today they were stunning. The windows portray Biblical figures as well as a few important founders of the Methodist Church such as John Wesley and the Texas Tech Red Raider guy seen here. Lest anyone in particular think I am sinful and making fun of the Methodist windows, this resemblance was first pointed out to me in church one day by an elderly, very pious and longstanding member of the church.

The balancing act goes on one day at a time and for today I'm grateful that we finally have made a positive decision about my Dad's care. I do alright with this mostly, but late at night it is hard to think about four living souls who you loved most in the world either dead, dying or having left on their own. Some days my own balancing act is just to keep a positive outlook. It sure is nice to see Daphne wagging her tail all day.

A "B" and an "F"....

My photo experimentation last night with the borrowed Nikon went well as an experiment, I learned many things. I learned that when I get a good digital SLR I'll definetly read the manual. I got some stunning shots of fairly still subjects but shooting the main football action was a bust.

As most photographer know, light is a quirky thing. Night time, stadium lights and fast moving subjects are difficult to handle even with a camera one knows well, next to impossible with one you know only the basics of. I chose to take the camera off of "auto" and do the program settings myself. One of the few drawbacks of this particular Nikon is that if, while on "auto", it deems there to be not enough light, the flash automatically goes off. An annoying and unneeded system and perhaps there is a way to turn it off, but it escaped me last night. So.....basically the settings I chose, and I tried many, were not giving me a high enough ISO nor enough shutter speed to match the appeture settings necessary for the lighting conditions.

My action shots were crap as sports photos, but looking on the bright side as I do, they'll make great "art" shots. The players are elongated blurs against the stationary background, pretty cool looking really. But the booster parents want to see their boys, not blurs, so I get an "F" on that subject. However, the daughter of one of my friends is an MHS cheerleader and the Mom asked me to get shots of the girls, which I did. Her daughter is a stunningly beautiful girl and very photogenic. Great shots there for which I grade out a strong "B" I think. I'd post some, but don't want to be accused of being chauvanistic so instead I give you a perennial favorite... a lady with a baby. A neighbor with her God daughter at a party tonight.

Keeping things in focus...

As my friend, professional sports photographer Eddie Ray Merritt, mentioned several weeks ago, photography is one pursuit where the quality and price of your equipment does matter. In golf, if you are good, you can beat the pants off anyone using $300 clubs while your opponents sticks are in the $1200 range. In photography, you can be good, but never great using lesser cameras. Not that I'll be great, but I would like to improve.

In America we are so blessed that few of us actually need anything, but I need a new camera. I have two very fine 35 mm. cameras, but my digital shooter is a 1998 model Sony. A camera bought in the last century. The advancements in digital photography since then are astounding. However, one advantage of using my old camera is that I've been forced to stick to the fundamentals of photography and to learn some new creative techniques to get good prints.

I have been considering two new cameras, one a Pentax the other a Nikon. Through the generosity of an AA friend, I am getting the feel of a very good Nikon DSLR this weekend. I learned recently that my attorney friend, whom I've known for years, is a very good photographer himself; his favorite subject is shooting macro shots of columbine plants. We all have our niches!

He lent me not only his camera, but his whole stash of lenses and accessories. I've been busy learing the quirks of the system in the last day in preparation for shooting the Midland High football game tonight. What a pleasure it is to have genuine depth of field, have sharp true colors and see detail more clearly. And to be able to get over 500 shots in one session, rapid fire shots to boot, nice for sports action. The difference in cameras for me is about like switching from driving a 1957 VW Bug to a Corvette.

Go Cardinals!

Willie's Words of Wisdom...

"It's been rough and rocky travelin',
but my feet are firmly planted on the ground,
And after taking several readings,
I'm surprised to find my mind still fairly sound....."

The words of Willie Nelson ring true with me today, although I have to say that my mind is only fairly sound, and even that comes with a lot of work on a day to day basis. One of the abiding gifts AA has given me is the concept of "an attitude of gratitude". I heard that from an old timer when I first came into that program. He told me, and others, "it's impossible to be angry, resentful and full of self-pity if you are truly grateful for God's gifts to you each day".

God's gifts, no matter how small, like seeing my Dad be able to get out of bed today and walk, on his own, into the kitchen to eat our traditional Thursday Johnny's Barbeque lunch. For the last year he and I have made the trip down to the restaurant one of his regular outings, but for the time being, that's not possible, so the lunch comes to him. Small things become big things at this stage of life, for him and for me.

And whenever I think of St. Willie these days I cannot help but remember another of his philosophical classics...

"Well it's a bloody mary morning,
baby left me without warning sometime in the night,
so I'm flying down to Houston,
with forgetting her the nature of my flight"

But that is stinkin' thinkin' and an old tape playing in my head, not applicable today.

A month gone by....

It was a month ago today that the Big Gold Dog passed away, within a week of another sad personal finale in my life. One would think that this is about as much as God would give one person for awhile, but God has a plan of his own and it is revealed to me slowly and in His time.

Within the last month my Dad, who has terminal respiratory failure, has been slipping. He has been in for two hospital stays, the current one being for a week as of today. My sister is fond of saying, "we are all dying from the moment we are born", somewhat easier for her to say since I'm the one watching it occur while she lives elsewhere. But she is correct, we are all slipping slowly away, but my Dad will go before most of us who are reading these words. I've been at the hospital twice a day for the last week; three times today already, preparing for him to come home. This has been my goal, to get him home and to be as comfortable as possible and frankly to be a positive influence to counter my Mother's fatalism as well as to consider some tough medical decisions that, understandably, she finds hard to make.

He has rebounded from these episodes before, but realistically we know that this is a progressive and ultimately fatal disease. My friend and saint, Dr. Paul Best, has told me that his condition is not good and his well being will become a day to day affair. My family is blessed in that they can afford home nursing care when needed, my mother has help in the home and yard and I live only minutes from them. I am grateful that I can be of help and be with him as much as possible and that I have friends who support me; like an old friend whom my Dad knows, who took the time this morning to visit him.

I'm also grateful to the Big Gold Dog who recently gave me the experience of knowing what it is like to do the best you can for a dying loved one, enjoying the time you have left with them...and then to let them go when God is ready for them.

And I hope you understand my joy in the air show and tennis pictures. Those two weekends were the about the only respite I've had from a summer and fall of sadness, heartache, worry and stress. But....there's football coming again on Friday and life goes on according to God's plan.

5 O'Clock update: On my fourth trip to the hospital today I was able to bust "Big Wally" out. He's now back home resting comfortably. It's very hard to watch a man who used to be an excellent tennis player, an avid golfer, who walked and fought his way through Italy, a problem solver, now be able to only walk a few steps without tiring and be dependent on others to make decisions for him. But, like the Big Gold Dog, I still see the spark in his eye and the willingness to do what it takes to go on another day. In fact, my Dad felt so good to be out of the dark confines of Midland Memorial late this afternoon that he asked if we might just cruise around town a little and stop to get a candy bar. And so we did on a beautiful fall afternoon.

Tennis Final...

A moral victory in the Racquet Club NCAA tournament for the Pepperdine Women's Tennis Team as they were represented in all three final matches; singles, doubles and the consolidation match. Sylvia Kosakowski played in the final's, but lost a close three set match to a very good Russian player representing Baylor. Anete Bandere lost her consolation match as well, but teamed up with Sylvia to win the Women's Doubles title to beat a very good team from the University of New Mexico.
Lot's of tennis this weekend and so enjoyable with my friend Coach Gualberto Escaduro and the girls of the team. Nice folks all.

Here are some pictures of the weekend: Pepperdine Women's matches

More tennis...

The Pepperdine tennis team is doing well at the Racquet Club NCAA Invitational. My friend Sylvia had a close call in her second match which went three sets and she had to battle back from a 4-1 game deficit in the third to triumph. True championship material. Anete is on a roll too, having defeated her opponent in straight sets. Both move on this afternoon to another round and then Sylvia has to play yet again in a doubles match. A good fall day for tennis although the matches have had to stop several times for light rain.

Here is a good reason I love Pepperdine Tennis. Sylvia is next to me on the right and Tanya is at far left. Tanya is from Latvia and speaks not only her native tongue but also English, Russian and German.

Tennis Anyone....?

A good lunch break and late afternoon for tennis. Beautiful weather for rooting the Pepperdine Wave on to victory. My young friend Sylvia, last years surprise champion of the Racquet Club NCAA tournament, is seeded #1 in the women's division this year and has done well so far with a bye in the first round and easily defeating her opponent from Rice in the second. Tomorrow she starts early in women's doubles.

If you have any interest in tennis you ought to attend, some top level collegiate teams both mens and womens including Texas, USC, UCLA and Notre Dame.

Trudging the road......

After one of the best Air Show's ever for me, I'm back to life's plain and simple minutia. I've been busy this week at oil/gas business affairs with any extra time spent running back and forth to the hospital to check on my Dad or down to the Salvation Army to pick up Robert my AA charge. Some days I'm not sure who is sponsoring whom, as Robert calls every day asking me, "how are you doing". I appreciate that.

How I'm doing is actually a day to day affair. In spite of snarky commentary from both sides over the months, I do miss the former residents greatly and, of course, the Big Gold Dog. Life is not the same without them around and I had a dream about them just last night. But change is the only constant in life and those who survive with any serenity at all, alter course, accept life on life's terms and make the necessary adjustments.

The digital world is still interesting, keeping me very busy at night with updates to the Midland High Football website and when time allows transfering my 1000's of old images from diskettes to CD's. I'm putting each years production on a seperate CD, I've done 2004 and 2005 so far, each taking up about 100 Mb's of space. Interesting looking at all the old pictures, but very hard with some. Lot's of pictuers of former residents. I've also been hired to do a new website for a local business and luckily it's right up my alley.....a women's shoe boutique. The idea has struck me that perhaps a good thing would be to turn Streams into a divorce recovery and women's shoe blog.

So keeping busy is good; perhaps I'll see you at the hospital today, the MHS game in Abilene tonight or perhaps if you're interested in a new pair of Italian pumps, at "So Shoe Me" this morning. And later in the weekend I'll be at the Racquet Club where my alma mater, Pepperdine, is participating in the yearly NCAA warmup tournament. Over and out from Bedford Dr.

Air Sho, Day 3...

The second day of the Air Sho, my third, was one of the best ever. First the business at hand, hauling people hither and yon, went exceedingly well. I had asked several young newcomers to AA to help me drive this weekend and they did wonderfully. There was a dual purpose to this request. First, I needed drivers, and secondly I know that it's good for new AA

members, especially young ones, to get out among people and see that you can have an amazing amount of fun while clean and sober. I think they had a great time, not only driving but cruising with me in my golf cart looking at all the fabulous planes and meeting many of the folks I've gotten to know over the years at the air show.

I met a number of new people at the show too, as I usually do. Driving a golf cart and looking important [though I'm not, believe me] lends itself to people stopping me and asking questions or wanting a ride. I try and give rides to the more elderly, who are usually WWII veterans. And this year we honored all WWII vets so there were more than the usual number. They keep getting older and less able to travel any great distance on foot. They usually are almost embarrassed to ask for assistance, much like my Dad, but when talked aboard they are glad for the ride. I'm more than honored to do it and usually give them a little extra tour of the show to places they may not be able to walk to. It's more than sad to realize that these men who were so young and such heroes to me in my youth will mostly be gone in another 8-10 years. A great privelage to give them a ride indeed.

Being an accomodating host, though I hated to do it, I gave a special tour to a pilot visiting with her group. She was with the Plane Girls. This is an organization for young women in aviation whose purpose is to....well their exact purpose seems to be...well I'm not sure what their purpose is, but if you look at their website, in my book, they don't really need a purpose. I was able to devote an hour or so giving her a close up look at the air show and to talk aviation. And her favorite movie was We Were Soldiers so she was interested to hear some of my inside scoop on the authors etc. My goal is to make all visitors, young and old feel at home.

However the highlight of my day was flying in the show with my friend Gregg Baiano. Gregg is accumulating a growing fleet of Vietnam era helicopters which he is restoring. I've flown with Gregg several times, but never like this! The CAF is adding Vietnam aviation to it's storyline and this year was the first that we've had a complete Vietnam vignette to add. We simulated the rescue of a downed fighter pilot using Gregg's Cobra [above, shot from the open door of the Huey] and one of his Hueys. I was the crew chief on the Huey and personally I think, the star of the show, jumping off the ship to pull the downed pilot in, buckling him in while doing a hot lift off. Well, OK, perhaps the helicopters were the stars, but I had a hell of a lot of fun.

There are not many thrills greater than flying in a Huey at 100 mph. 10 ft. above the ground with the doors open. This was not tame flying either, lots of hard turns and short stops. Just like the old days! And watching the straffing runs of the A1E Skyraiders and then the Cobra from above looked like the real thing, thanks to our great pyrotechnics guys. Many pictures of this and more at:
Air Sho 2006 photos

Air Show, Day 2.....

The first day of the Air Sho went well with good weather, some cloud cover [which makes it easier to spot the planes] with a fairly good breeze which was welcome on a warm day but necessitated the cancelation of some of the lighter and slower planes which fly some of the acts. My able crew and I helped an number of people including many WWII vets, who like my Dad, find it hard to walk even 100 ft. these days without effort. A privelage to assist them.

Here, with new photos added, is the Air Show 2006 photo album.

Air Sho....

It's Air Sho time again, normally one of my favorite, though busy, weekends. I have had a hard time getting geared up for the activities this year, for obvious reasons, but with some small responsibilities there and seeing old friends and meeting new ones I'm sure I'll get into the swing of things. One of the best ways to replace old memories is with new ones, I've been told.

Here are some first photos of Air Show 2006 many more to follow over the weekend.

Hope to see you at the Air Sho.....!

Law's of life.....

The last four months have been an extreme trial affecting me in many ways. One of which is difficutly in gaining sleep easily at night. During the worst I did try Ambien©, which frankly works like a charm. But being reborn in AA I know that one must eventually solve one's own problems without the use of sleep aids or other mood enhancers so I stopped taking it. The result is that I still have many nights where I toss and turn replaying old thoughts in my mind.

For some reason, the other night, the "Law of Unintended Consequences" popped into my brain. Why I'm not sure but I suspect it had something to do with the "attitude of gratitude" learned in AA. This being that each day we all have something to be grateful for and if we concentrate on the positive instead of the negative we are much the better off for it. My prime example is D. Daphne Dog. Left behind by a former resident who no longer had any use for her, she has become a blessing in my life, helping me through these tough times. An unintended positive consequence of a thoughtless negative action.

What was interesting to me in reading the Wikipedia article on that subject was the links to other laws, the most famous being Murhphy's Law. Probably the best known of life's "laws" this states that "anything that can go wrong will". Certainly seemed to apply to me, but even more importantly was the corollary which I had not thought of in a long, long time. Finagles' Corollary to Murphy's Law adds an important point, "anything that can go wrong, will...at the worst possible time" Having your divorce become final a week or so after your dog dies makes me think that I have indeed been "finagled".

As I try and work through the pain, hurt, anger and resentments of this I recall another more West Texas "law". "What goes around comes around". And this, I've learned in 1000's of hours in AA, does indeed come true. Life is not always fair in any given day, month, or even years, but it does even out. So I leave it in God's capable hand to give people what they deserve in life.

Transition Zone.....

I'm still, in fact even more, into transitional thinking brought about by unintended changes [on my part anyway]. I've been trying to clear my mind of recent events and heartaches and in doing so God has opened some doors through some very interesting new people I've met. Where the door leads is not fully apparent, but it seems to be promising.

So with transition in mind, I have over the last several days, been doing some transitional photography. This is what abandoned dogs and photographers do, take pictures of each other.

In the world of photography these are known as sepia's. My artist friend Polly Jackson tells me that in her more chromatic world they are mezzotints. So if you're in Santa Fe pick your medium if you're in West Texas they're basically weird pictures of me and the dog.

*No dogs were harmed in the making of these images

Prayer...

In between other duties this weekend I've been able to attend some of the sessions of the "prayer workshop" at the First United Methodist Church. During the last four months I thought that perhaps God had cut off his intercom to me. I've prayed for answers and guidance on matters big and small and it seemed that things only got worse.

I have been in more regular attendance in church over the last several years and, of course, I am a regualy attendee at AA. AA is spirtitual, church is religous, and for me one has enhanced the other. As we in AA say, "church is for people who don't want to go to Hell, AA is for people who have been there and don't want to go back". A cute saying but one that I don't hold too much to anymore. Several weeks ago while doing some photography work for the church I had a long private chat with head pastor Dr. Tim Walker about my defects, my worries and my pain. It surprised me to hear Dr. Tim say that if he had his way everyone who joined his church would be required to attend AA for a year before they became members. We all have our demons and addictions was his point, and that AA addresses the more humanistic way to become better people through religon.

I believe that I've learned more about "church religon" through the spirituality of AA than I would have otherwise and learned that the two go hand in hand. And I was reminded in AA that my "unanswered" prayers were not that at all. God has a plan for us all and if we will "turn our will and life over to the care of God, as we understand him" then we will be able to let God do for us what we cannot do for ourselves. Sometimes WE just need to get out of the way and let God's plan unfold for us. I'm working on that one...

And if I doubt that God has left my prayers unanswered I only have to remember back two weeks ago today, when I had been urgently praying to God that he take The Big Gold Dog in his own time and way. That's exactly what happened and I can never be grateful enough for that. I'm reminded too that there are three answers that God can give to our prayers; yes, no and not now. God is very busy, you can expect a great deal of "not nows".

Here's one of my favorite prayers....learned from reading it in the book of Alcoholics Anonymous.

The Prayer of St. Francis
Lord, make me an instrument of Your peace.
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
and where there is sadness, joy.
O, Divine Master,
grant that I may not so much seek
to be consoled as to console;
to be understood as to understand;
to be loved as to love;
for it is in giving that we receive;
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.

Sometimes life becomes more difficult, easier, more confusing and clearer all at the same time.

The Transition Zone...

Sometimes feeling like we were left behind with the same compassion that one throws out old newspapers, Daphne and I are glad for new friends to uplift our spirits. Like a visitor who had read about the Big Gold Dog and wanted to meet Daphne.

The Day Dawns Bright.....

Things change, life goes on, but God has a plan for us all. A spiritual base and many friends have helped in leading up to this day. Spiritual growth sometimes comes from hard lessons but I believe what in AA are known as "The Promises"....

If we are painstaking about this phase of our spiritual development, we will be amazed before we are half way through.

We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness.

We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it.

We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace.

No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others.

That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear.

We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows.

Self-seeking will slip away.

Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change.

Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us.

We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us.

We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves.

God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves. It's amazing how that works isn't it? Thanks God.

Today's cost of obeying God's will for me: Unfathomable heartache, $275 and time served.

D. Daphne Dog....

It was one week ago today that The Big Gold Dog passed away and as hard as it's been I don't think that I could have made it without D. Daphne Dog. D. Daphne has had a hard summer too. She was originally an abandoned puppy and then this summer she was left behind again by her previous owners. A tough deal for a dog not seeing familiar faces ever again. But she adapted well and it was nice for me to know that she was inside with Tres when I was gone during the day. I think they were good companions.

Now Tres is gone and Daphne is having, along with me, to adjust again. She's doing well but never leaves my side where ever I am. I'm sure she may be enjoying this promotion from spare dog to main dog, as Tres occupied much of my time in the last several months. And I'm enjoying her too. She loves to ride with me on various errands and being a smaller dog than Tres I don't feel bad about taking her along in the car and leaving her for a few moments as I run into the photo processors, cleaners or where ever. If ever a dog loved to ride, it's Daphne.

And she is a hoot. A very smart and inquisitive dog she's always up to something. This past week I had the DeAnda family interior contractors in repairing the leak damage in the den. There were sheet rock guys, plasterers and painters. Every time a new worker came in, we had to stop all work so that Freddy DeAnda could show them D. Daphnes tricks. On my question, "where's your toy"?, her ears stand up, she searches and finds her rope where ever it was in the house. Same with the ball, she knows the difference. But her "roll-over" was the show stopper. I don't understand much Spanish, but I could tell the guys were impressed.

Thanks D. Daphne for getting me through the week.

On the road again.....?

Before I delve into today's headline subject, I have to take a moment to once again thank and express my heartfelt gratitude to all those many, many people who left comments, emailed or phoned me concerning the passing of my best buddy Tres. It lifts my spirits to think that a Big Gold Dog and his love could affect so many people, for the messages weren't for me, they were for him. I know he got them. Thanks again, and when I regain my composure on that subject I intend to relate in more detail what a spiritual experience it was to be awakened by him as he left this world....a fact I've become more sure of in the last days. Since then, and dog owners know this, I have thought I've seen him sometimes sleeping in his old spots and last night as I walked barefoot over the tile floors where he used to sleep all night, I thought I actually felt a warm spot like I used to notice for hours after he'd gotten up...

So, On the road again? I think so. Daphne and I have been talking. It's sad to us that since last May the number of inhabitants at the Bedford Dr. estate has dwindled from a happy and joyous five living occupants [OK, some happy and joyous] to a paltry two inhabitants pared down by departures of both the heavenly and moving van variety. We are the expendable ones and we've been thinking of loading up the car and hitting the road.

My daily happiness doesn't revolve around having to have some trip in the planning stage, but I do like to get up and go occasionally. In the last year or so however, travel didn't seem as important as taking care of ailing dogs and Dad's. Tres is now on his last great trip and my Dad has nursing care several times a week, so it seems like a good time to venture forth upon the open road. In fact the Big Gold Dog and I used to motor around on occasion, our favorite spot being the Gage Hotel in Marathon, Texas, where they loved to accomodate both humans and dogs alike. We spent several wonderful nights there rocking on the front porch talking to interesting folks. There's nothing like a Big Gold Dog to help make friends. We also visited the Marfa lights, I saw them, Tres didn't. And I have to add that a former resident did plan some wonderful trips for us, frankly some of my happiest times, which I will remember for ever. But that's the past.

The future is that D. Daphne and I are going to be heading Northwest on a photo odyssey. The first three stops are planned and mostly booked. First will be the Hurd Gallery B&B in San Particio, New Mexico which is mostly booked if I can convince Michael Hurd that D. Daphne is OK to stay in the rooms. Next and completely booked today is onward to Galisteo, NM and the home of my artist friend Woody Gwin. Woody and his wife, Diana live in an historic adobe hacienda with guest quarters. Daphne and I will be the guests.

Next will be a short hop up to Santa Fe to the hacienda home of acquaintance Steve Northup, a celebrated Vietnam combat photographer. Steve's wife has also recently departed, she via the heavenly route. I say acquaintance because I've never met Steve personally, but have talked to him on the phone many times and emailed even more asking photo questions. He's often invited me up for a little personal instruction. Not a bad teacher, he's been nominated for three Pulitzer Prizes.

So we're in Santa Fe and where to next? As long as we're that far, and we're going to have think about this, but neither D. Daphne nor I have never been to Monument Valley. I've always wanted to see where all the John Ford westerns were filmed and, of course, it's a must once in a lifetime for any semi-serious photographer. And as long as we're there San Francisco is not out of the question. That's doubtful, but when you get driving it's hard to stop. I love San Francisco and haven't been there in ages.

The New Mexico portion is a must, October is my favorite month there. I assume we'll be leaving as soon as business and the Air Show are taken care of here at the beginning of October, in between football photo assignments and before my next sojourn to San Antonio in late October. The open road beckons....

The passing of The Big Gold Dog....

The Big Gold Dog, Tres, passed away without pain or discomfort and on his own according to God's will this morning at about 6:40 a.m. Both he and I were as prepared as we could be. Last night, as I have done for years I sat with him before I went to bed saying, "I love you, you big old dog". He was alert, looked particularly contented and knew I was there. I'm glad those were the last words he ever heard. I knew the end was near and dear friend that he was he went on his own without having to force me to make that painful last decision. I'm grateful to God that at least during the last several months he was able to enjoy his front yard and the many people who loved him and stopped to stroke his golden head. Or his friends like Snoopy, who got to stop by for one last visit in the final weeks. There has been no better friend on earth nor a more gentle soul.....

If there is any creature on earth that will be granted "express check-in" to God's eternal kingdom it will be the Big Gold Dog. He was my best buddy on earth and he taught me the true meaning of unconditional love, not only his for me, but hopefully mine for him too. His strength and will to go on doing the things he loved in the last month was remarkable. He now lies buried in my folks yard next to my last great golden pal "Ranger".

I know that he left me at 6:40 because, for a reason I didn't understand then, I awoke abruptly at the moment. As I have done for these last months of his illness I got up and went to look down the hall, not far from my bed, to check on him. He looked to be slumbering peacefully, which I now know he was, asleep in God's arms and waiting at the Rainbow Bridge. I went back to sleep and when I checked on him when I awoke again, I realized that he was gone, looking as peaceful and serene as he always has. I now know why I awoke at 6:40; I firmly believe that he left this good earth at that moment and his spirit passed over me one last time, letting me know he was going.

I held his head in my arms and told him goodbye again, and as I let Daphne in, she went right to his side and lay down next to him, knowing too that he was gone. I then called my friend and AA sponsor Robert who lives down the street to see if he could help move Tres to my parents yard where he would be buried. He said, of course, and was right there helping me move Tres to one of his favorite blankets in which we carried him gently to my folks.

I then I went to church, where Dr. Tim Walker, who had met the Big Gold Dog, offered to make a special prayer for Tres. Next to an after chruch AA meeting where most members knew of Tres' illness and offered their prayers for him. I had arranged for another Robert, a man I sponsor in AA, to come to the burial site to help me dig the grave for Tres and true to his word, he came as soon as I called. When I knew that Robert was on the way, I'll have to say that I finally broke down and sobbed like I have not done in decades, the finality of my best buddy's death had finally hit home.

Robert and I dug a nice grave in a shady spot of my folks yard, next to Ranger, my last Golden. With my folks in attendance we had a nice moment of silence followed by prayers from Robert and Myself. Tres was wrapped in his beautiful and clean blanket and I laid one of my favorite sweatshirts, one filled with my scent under his head as well one of his favorites treats, a rawhide bone. Robert and I closed his grave and I laid a golden lily over where his heart now rests. I had brought Dahpne to say good bye to her pal, and as a gift from God, she laid down right atop his resting place, a fitting tribute I thought.

I cannot tell you enough what the outpouring of emails, phone calls and personal sympathy that I have received today mean to me, as well as the beautiful flower arrangement sent by my old friends the Bynums. It's nice to know that although some people see fit to leave our lives at hard times like these, there are more than enough caring ones to take their place.

I went to two funerals yesterday, one for an old AA friend who had died elsewhere but had chosen to be buried next to her husband in Odessa. Kathy was from an old family in North Carolina, and although only 5 of her close family had flown out for the memorial the amount of flowers sent was staggering. As we left they invited me to take one of the arrangements, which I gladly did, a beautiful fall bouquet of fresh flowers that featured gold and rust tones. I chose these because they would match the living room decor. Kathy's sister told me of the strange coincidence that of all those arrangements I had picked the one that was sent by my friend Patti in North Carolina who had been instrumental in helping me get sober many years ago......and who had emailed me each day asking of Tres' condition. It wasn't until I knew that Tres was gone that I realized the significance of my choice of that golden bouquet, it was a gift from God to me early today, a message that Tres, the Big Gold Dog was home.

I don't mind telling you that I've been sobbing uncontrollably at times with the finality of my loss, there have been very few days over the last 10 or so years that I have not had him by my side. Tonight will be the worst, not having him laying with me in the office and not sleeping down the hall outside the bedroom. But with all the heartache I've had lately, God did give me another gift, D. Daphne Dog who will help with the continuity of my life and be a good companion to help ease the pain. In fact we're going walking right now.

I'm grateful for the skill and true caring of my Vet and friend Dr. Greg Adkins who stopped by almost daily to check and minister to Tres. Again, I cannot offer my profound thanks enough to all who cared about my best buddy, The Big Gold Dog.

To be free.....

"If you have a resentment you want to be free of, if you will pray for the person that you resent, you will be free. If you will ask in prayer for everything you want for yourself to be given to them, you wll be free. Ask for their health, their prosperity, their happiness, and you will be free. Even when you don't really want it for them and your prayers are only words, do it anyway, and you will be free. Do it every day for two weeks, and you will find you have come to mean it and to want it for them, and you will realize that where you used to feel bitterness, resentment and hatred, you will now feel compassion, understanding and love. And you will be free....

From the Book of Alcoholics Anonymous, page 552.

The Truth...

"And the truth shall set us free". And so it did with me today. Honestly, I had suspected the truth but had wanted not to accept it, but when the truth slaps you right in the face there is no ignoring it. I had expected better but shouldn't have.

No more naive hope, false optimism or positive expectations from a situation where there was none. The truth was a dagger and it delivered one of the most painful cuts and deepest hurts that I have experienced in all my life, but it is better to know than to have dreamed of what could have been.

The truth will set me free and now I have surrendered so that I might go on to win.

I'm here...I think

Just a note to let the world know that I'm still here. My free time has been busy lately. I've been updating the Midland High Football website which has included changing the entire site architecture, redoing rosters and stats with the contstant change that goes on within the team, not to mention going to most of the team and booster club events to take photos. But it is a fun assignment, I've met a lot of nice new folks and kids and the booster club has rewarded me financially. In fact with far more than I think I'm worth. But thanks.

I have been busy, also, tending to the care of the Big Gold Dog. Frankly there have been days lately where I thought the end was hours away. For 24 hrs. he did not move from the same spot, although he would still eat a little and drink water if I brought these to him. Bologna and cheese was his entire meal somedays....eschewing all his regular treats and dog chow. I have consulted his Vet, Greg Adkins and close friends regularly about his condition and whether I am doing the right thing with him. All who have seen him agreed that as long as he still has the light in his eyes and the will to get up and go out front occasionally he should be allowed to go on, as he does not seem to be in pain.

In fact today, he was up and around, rolling in the grass out front and actually ate an entire bowl of food. OK, so I fixed him a pound of hamburger, he needs his protein, at least he finally ate a large quantity. The last several nights have been taxing as to get him outside and back inside while it's dark is a feat. Though he can make out objects during the day, at night he is for all intents blind. I lead him in and out which he...and I are getting used to.

The final day will come soon, but I've never seen a dog with such a strong will and constitution and I'm not going to give up on him as long as he has the desire to go on. I'm just grateful that I've gotten to spend these extra days with him.

Bulldogs....!

I'll have to say that roaming anywhere I please on the sidelines of a Midland High Bulldog football game beats sitting in the stands. Yessiree I had a great time on my first outing as a semi-official photographer for the football team and the booster club. Not only do I get to watch the plays from ground level, some coming right at me, but I was free to sit in on the offensive, defensive and special teams confabs during the game, talk to coaches and players when they had time and give a few rah-rahs directly to the guys who had made the big plays.

Yes sir, beats sittin' in the stands. Here are a few digital photos of the game. I've got two rolls of 35mm. yet to be added.

Football...

As some other blog somewhere recently noted, it is football season. I like the start of the season because it means the most beautiful season, Fall, is upon us and I do enjoy watching the college season unfolding. But I've grown to appreciate high school ball more over the years as the Pro's have become more, well Pro, and the college games have become, once again, more Pro. High School boils the game down to a more simple philosophy and here in Midland, anyway, almost any kid can suit up and be a member of the team, some getting small playing time for sure, but on the team none the less, which is supposed to be the purpose of a "game" for teenagers.

This year it will be exciting for me to be a Midland High Bulldog fan. I will get to be upclose and personal at many of the games, on the sidelines close. I have become the new maintainer/photo person of the Midland High Football website operated by the MHS Football Boosters. I was chosen for the job after an arduous selection and screening process over many months, beating out numerous other applicants.

Well, not quite, I was roped into doing the job by my friend Mike P. and his wife Martha who are the Presidents of the booster club this year. Anyway, it pays a small stipend and I do get to sideline the games and shoot photos which should be fun. The site is being upgraded and updated. If you're a Bulldog fan check it out, we plan on having many more pictures, some up already.

Aerial photography...

There is nothing better than to get to do two of your favorite activities and having someone pay you do to them! Today, thanks to Streams commentor Janie S., I got to do just that. Janie is one of the head salespersons at a major oil field service company and she had called me several weeks ago to see if I might like to take some aerial photos of a major "frac" job that they were doing for a client. With some trepidation of lining

everything up I accepted the job. The first step in aerial photography is to have some means of being aerial, and with that my friends at the CAF volunteered to help as long as costs were met and a small donation tendered. No problem there, so my friend and chief CAF pilot Randy Wilson agreed to fly the mission in our newly restored Fairchild monoplane, "Tarbaby". Randy is as good as they come being qualified to fly most everything in the CAF inventory.

The "Tarbaby" was built in 1946 and is how flying should be enjoyed. It is a fabric airplane and the windows roll down so we flew open air style. It has enough power that we could cruise at about 100 mph though going south with a good headwind we were making around 80 mph. Following the highway to Rankin there were a goodly number of Texas motorists almost keeping up with us, but all the better to enjoy the scenery.

We found our target site just north of Rankin without much trouble and Randy was able to make slow looping orbits over the well site to allow me to shoot photos, both digital and 35 mm, to my hearts content. Low and slow is good for aerial photography. After about 20 minutes "on station" we headed back north to the Windwalker Skeet Shooting Club to take some shots of a big charity event that Janie and her company were helping to sponsor. Then back to Midland International Airport were Randy brought the Tarbaby in to a smooth if not tricky landing on runway 160 L [above]. The Tarbaby has a tendency to lurch to the left when it lands. Dramatic but not too difficult for a skilled pilot.

A great day and thanks to all. And with a nice check coming in from friend Joe Galloway and our We Were Soldiers photo site, it's going to be a good month to be in photography!

Ralph and Stringbean...

Today's photo of the day is one of my favorite pictures of some of the personalities in the oil field. Ralph and Stringbean were doing an acid frac job for us when I caught them in an idle moment. I never found out Stringbean's real name.

An Apple a Day....

As you undoubtedly know, the Big Gold Dog has had his share of medical problems lately and has occupied most of the time I've alloted for veterinary activities. But, today was D. Daphne Dog's turn at the Shannon Animal Clinic. I wasn't really sure when the last time she had been checked over and had her shots. She certainly has not worn official tags since I've known her these last 4 years. Besides she's developed an ugly rash under her skinny little arms that hasn't responded well to topical dog creams I have on stock.

She also has the habit and running willy-nilly through the shrubery sometimes scratching herself up pretty badly. She has one of these wounds working now too.

So this afternoon D. Daphne had the pleasure of visiting Dr. Greg Adkins and staff. I say pleasure because my dogs seem to enjoy the experience greatly. Tres goes immediately for the receptionist with treats and today Daphne learned that if she stuck her snout over the counter she got a toy to play with.....and keep. Daph had her shots and a good check over by Greg who was concerned enough about her skin problems to put her on antibiotics for a week. All's well that ends well...

Except now every being, human or doglike, in the house is on some type, or several, medications. Tres is on two, one taken every other day, one every day. Daphne's meds are taken twice a day. Luckily mine are taken only at bedtime. But with all this medicare going on I've had to print up a calendar and stick it on the refrigerator with our own personal schedules. And by more turkey ham, which I've found is the best and cheapest treat to wrap the dogs meds in, they swallow it whole. Fool's 'em every time. I don't need turkey ham for mine.

Gold Dog Photos...

For many years now I have felt badly about not having a photo display of the namesake of my website, The Big Gold Dog. Gold Dog's have always been my boon companions and frankly many years ago my last golden, Ranger, kept me going through some tough times. And now Tres is filling the bill [along with Daphne]. With Tres' advancing age and medical difficulties I didn't want to wait and make his photo section a memorial, so here's the photo spread on the current Big Gold Dog. It's in Flash format so you can either sit back and let it run through the photos automatically or you can select your viewing using the tools at the bottom of the screen.

Roof Redux....

Not surprisingly with roof repairs, during last weeks heavy rains I discovered one recalcitrant drip in the den, in a spot that had a leak previously. Since the interior plaster already had been ruined, it is no big matter and on the positive side the other major leakages have been stopped cold.

Yesterday I called Frank Shepard whose company did the repairs and he said he'd have the crew out early this morning. And he did, come 7:15 they were on the roof having at it. I left them to their work and when I returned for lunch they were gone, but they must have worked like men possessed as there was dirt, old tar and roofing stones all over the patio. After some lunchtime work it is now clean and spiffy and I welcome the chance of storms today to see if the roof is finally sealed.

In other hometime news of no importance whatsoever, for years I have been trying to find flowering plants that do well in the mottled sunshine in the flower beds of the estate. I have recently had great luck with Lantana in areas that get more sunshine and now at the suggestion of master gardener Burr Williams I am trying Turk's Cap Malvaviscus grandiflorus. It appears to be doing wonderfully and if succesful will soon be my plant of choice [to hell with caladiums]. Turk's Cap provides colorful red blooms, is a luxuriant dark green plant, grows like a weed [actually I think it may be classed officially as such], gains good height and is a perennial. Who could ask for more?

After several bad days late last week the Big Gold Dog is doing better than he has in some time which is great news. In the bad news dog category, D. Daphne Dog has had a lingering, pernicious and malordorous case of gas since I let her in early this morning. As I file this report the assault is unabated so I must abandon the premises.

New Mexico Photography.....

View some of the photos using Flash navigation that I've been working on to print. Hope you enjoy them. New Mexico Photography

Sweet music...

Never in my wildest imagination did I think that the sounds of gravel being scrapped from my roof would be such sweet music to my ears.

Early this morning Mr. Shepard, owner of Shepard Roofing, called to say he was going to "try" and stop by this morning. Mr. Shepard is a fine man and an old fixture in the Midland roofing game, but through the last year I have learned that "try" in the roofing business means less than a 50% shot of something actually happening. But today the odds were in my favor as Mr. Shepard and one of his crew chiefs did make an appearance, though I also learned that in the roofing business making an appearance doesn't necessarily mean action either. But as you can see from the photo above today was a day of action!

The gravel is being scrapped back in preparation for retarring the flat portion of the roof that is leaking. When this is complete and after two seperate one inch plus rains in the last 4 days, I'll get to call my other good friends the DeAnda family plasterers to, once again, come and repair the inside damage. I find that plasterers are people of action, so all should be renewed shortly.

Update: No wonder the roof leaked. The roofers discovered a very long crack in the tar running almost the length of the flat roof directly over where most of the damage has occured inside the house. This was not visible until all the lava rock gravel had been removed.

Dog update.......

How's the Big Gold Dog you ask. Well, considering all, he's doing pretty well. He's still up for trying his morning walk, though some days we don't make it as far as we used to, but he gets an "A" for effort. His eating has slowed down since he's not on steroids anymore, but he does OK in that department too. Mostly he likes the cool comfort of the tile floors in his home with short trips out to the front yard to laze about. Being mostly deaf and very short of sight these days, I think he enjoys the trips out to savor the smells. And because he can't keep track of the world like he used to, he stays close to me. After an excursion to sniff the yard for strange smells he usually comes back to the porch and the glass front door where he can see me. But thankfully, he is doing better than I had expected a month ago and God has blessed him.....and me with more time together.

Blogathon....

My Dos Amigos in Blogville, Jimmy Patterson on the right and Eric Siegmund at left are hanging out this afternoon as part of Blogathon 2006. Both are braving the HEB supermarket lobby in the name of Midland Fair Havens, a very worthy cause. They'll be online today and thru the night. Stop by and make a donation. I've already won a contest....the list of prizes is staggering.

Dinner in jail...

I've started doing something, again, that I had done some years ago. Sponsoring some of the young guys incarcerated in the County Residential Treatment Center, CRTC. The CRTC is a lock up facility that provides substance abuse treatment for, generally, younger men who have done some fairly serious, though not life threatening crime, due to drugs and alcohol. Sponsoring is mentoring, mostly, the guys in the ways of AA and teaching them sober living without crime. A Big Brother for bad kids I suppose. Tonight was graduation night complete with speakers and a nice [for jail] dinner.

I had two of my guys graduating from the phase one program which means that after 3 months of being locked up they are deemed trustworthy enough to be released during the day to work. Both were proud as could be to get their certificate and the younger of the two achieved his GED while locked up. Pretty good for a 23 y.o. who has been a drug dealer since he was 17 y.o. The other is a somewhat older guy, a navy veteran, who let drugs lead him into a life as a methamphetamine producer. He found a good job his very first day out looking.

I hope both these guys get something out of our relationship, but if they don't, I sure do. At a sad point in my life there is nothing like helping a fellow human being out of a life of misery to make me grateful for what I have. The tragic stories of these kids family backgrounds makes me grateful for my more normal upbringing.....as does the sound of the steel door unlocking to let me out!

Special Order..

The first part of my special photo order went out today and after 6+ hours of work on these shots I have to say I'm starting to know how true artists feel when the sell and ship one of their works. After spending so much time with the piece and having it come out well, you rather hate to give it up. But the beauty of photography is that most always you can print more to match the original.

As you may know most all of the work is setting the image up to get ready to print....so many decisions! Each of the larger prints took at least an hour to decide on brightness/contrast, level of clarity, how much "noise" removed looked good or better or removing a powerline here and there. Also on this job I did discover a real printing key for my relatively low pixel camera......the "bicubic resize" function, turning mere 750 Kb digital files into behomth 22 Mb beauties allowing for much larger prints with good results.

And as always I messed around with cropping some photos which, overall, were not too bueno and turned them into unsuspecting surprises. The Ruidoso Downs image is one. Seen here in it's puny web size. The print in a 4"x11" mat looks great.

A lot of work late last night, but it was worth it, the client is a special one.

A cold snap.....

You know that you have been living in West Texas awhile when the temperature on your 5 p.m. afternoon walk is 94° and it feels almost cool. An easterly breeze helped and with the wind whispering through the pines that line the Windlands Park track it could have been the cool mountains of New Mexico. Well, not quite, but 94° felt a whole lot better than 101º.

On another note, I bought a new printer and have had the time lately to put it to good use converting many of my digital images into prints. I had a special request to do some landscapes, but the person who wanted these didn't stop to pickup them up so they were lying on the kitchen counter. I was surprised when someone else saw a couple and wanted them, even paying for the frames and mats I had put them into. Always nice for people to like your shots. I have 3 seperate photo editors and never cease to be amazed at the way small changes in the formating of the image turn out so differently in the prints. Unfortunately I'm generally limited to 5"x7" prints due to the lack of pixel power in my camera, but I've always loved black and white images and these turn out remarkably well. Here's one printed yesterday and gone today of the mountain pass bewtween Mora and Taos New Mexico. The prints look significantly better than this compressed web friendly image. And here's an added shot from the series in color as a comparison, Mora, New Mexico

Airborne School...!

There are those who think that reviving the past in our memories is rather wasted. One should be thinking of the future. But, as we learn, those who forget the past are doomed to make the same mistakes over again. I find also, that when taken in perspective, the hard times of today are nothing as when compared to some in the past. Gratitude in a perverse way.

In the last post I recounted my hot 3 mile walks everyday and while on those walks, miserable as they may be, I often think back to 35 years ago and recall that todays hot three mile walks "ain't shi" squat compared with "hell on earth"....US Army Airborne School. I actually went on to another school after Airborne that was more demanding physically and mentally, but Airborne School was my awakening.

The U.S. Army Airborne School is located at Ft. Benning, Georgia which in the summer is truly hell on earth, even without physical exertion. The daily temperature was in the mid to upper 90's but the humidity was 40% or better. This is one of those army experiences where you had better be in shape when you arrived or it was too late. A drill sergeant later told me their goal was to wash out at least 30% of the class in the first two days. I think they did that and more in my class. Anyway, I had two fraternity brothers who had been to Vietnam already and the only advice they gave was that if you go, brother be in shape. The fat, slow and dumb get killed. I took this to heart, "Fat=Dead" "In shape=Alive". I don't think I've ever completely given that thought up. So, while I was in the relatively sedentary Infantry Officer Basic Course, I had run more than required on my own and was in pretty good shape.

The airborne course is 3 weeks long, the first week being designed to weed the weak sisters out with long, long runs and some basic airborne techniques. The uniform every day was the old army fatiques that were thick as denim, heavy boots and the issue steel helmet that weighs 5 lbs. and is dark colored to absorb heat, with the chin strap to be buckled at all times. This makes it difficult to open ones mouth wide enough to suck in much air at all while running. Shirt sleeves not to be rolled up. The only concession to the heat was that we got to untuck our pants legs from the boots and roll them up to the top of the boot.

The airborne day got started at 5 a.m. with the order, "fall in on the cables". The cables being just that, long orderly rows of wire cables on which one put the toe of his boot to form ranks. Being an officer I lived in seperate quarters from the enlisted swine, so I always got to the area at about 4:50 a.m. having eaten just enough breakfast so I knew that it would be digested by the time the barfing started an hour later. After roll call the daily orders were dispensed through WWII era loud speakers placed all over the company areas. We later agreed that all we ever heard was, "Attention in the 49th company area....". All after that was garbled gibberish, the announcer being so enthusiastic that he yelled so loudly into the microphone that it caused static throughout the entire system. An occasional word of English slipped thru, but the announcer might as well have been speaking Mandarin Chinese, we didn't understand a word. Nor, did we have to, we had no latitude in what was going to happen to us that day anyway.

From the first formation we moved to "physical training" or PT, aka sanctioned torture. About an hour of calisthentics followed by our first run of the day, a three miler around a circuitous asphalt path, running in boots, the heavy fatiques and those damned helmets. Since the sun was now up, it was already hot. The army's solution to overheating was to have overhanging showers along the track about every mile which sprayed down upon the formation whether you wanted to get soaked or not. It felt pretty good, until your soaking pants started cutting rashes into your crotch. This is when I first learned not to wear underwear in some situations. There was another 2 mile run after lunch, so those who had not barfed enough in the morning could have another shot. I can't describe the feeling of all that sweat pouring thru heavy cloths, crotch rash burning and with the helmet on, no way to wipe the drips from your forehead as they ran into the eyes.

In the first week there were a few hours of instruction in the afternoon covering things like how to put the parachute on and how to properly land after jumping. The army uses a "5 points of contact" method when your body comes crashing to earth so we worked on this for days. It involves landing on the balls of the feet, rolling to the calf, the thigh, the side of the butt and then the curve of the back. We practiced this off of 4 and 6 foot walls into pits of sand, dirt and sawdust. All of these materials stick like clue to sweating bodies and increase the misery of the heat dramatically. With 400 or so people practicing in a group, the wait in the sun for your turn to be critqued was long. Good fun waiting for a 2 second experience only to be told by the instructor, "no good, do it again". The instructors, by the way, were the cream of the crop in the army, were good, demanding and could and would curse like.....well drill instructors. Mostly spitting right into your face from a foot away while doing so. The only concession to me as an officer was that after their cursing tirade they'd have to add a "sir" usually with a big, fake grin.

The second week was filled with many fun filled apparatii designed to simulate aiborne operations. Here are a few in pictures...

The "suspended harness" apparatus shown above is used to give trainees the feel of hanging in the parachute harness and work on manuevering the chute thru the "risers" coming off the harness. New jumpers need pay special attention to rigging up their harness as the main support straps go thru the legs on either side of some delicate male property. If the trainee gets it wrong he'll know it when the instructors raise him 4 ft. off the floor.

The "swing landing trainer" above is the most dreaded device of airborne school. It is used to show trainees what it is like to be coming down near the ground in a chute while drifting in one direction and at the same time swinging like a pendulum. The trainee steps off of a 12 ft. platform and is swung, and towed ahead while an instructor lowers the man nearer the ground with a pulley. Whenever the instructor is ready, he releases the pulley rope and down goes the jumper. The job description for instructors here requires some knowledge of sadism, as most of the time they will release the poor trainee when he is highest in his upswing sometimes many feet off the ground. I usually landed very hard on my helmeted head, more than once knocking me dizzy.

Moving on from the more static training aids, the new jumper confronts his first real test with heights...the 34 ft. tower. As you can see above it simulates an aircraft which the jumper practices exiting. He then drops about 8 ft. before the harness catches him and he slides down a long cable to make a practice 5 point landing. Actually rather fun after you've done it several times, but the wait on the stairs for the 50 guys ahead of you wasn't. One of my favorite personages, ever, in the army ran this device. SFC Dudley, was a black veteran who looked and sounded exactly like Jeffrey Holder, who did the 7-Up "uncola" ads years ago. SFC. Dudley would laugh just like the uncola man as he whacked you on the ass and shoved you out the door. Honestly I came home many a night with his hand print on my butt.

At the end of the 2nd week of training the day of reckoning occured, being dropped from the 250 ft. tower. Shown above is the tower itself and some poor soul being towed up. The towers dominate the training base and remind you that you too will have to face this demon. The jumper is strapped to an open parachute which is attached to a round frame with a stout nylon web strap going around the whole frame. A cable is attached to the center of the chute and up you go, and up and up. For those not used to open heights, it is frankly scary, yet exciting. Up and up with nothing to look down upon but your boots and the specks below which are people. Getting to the top you hang there for what seems an eternity. You must, yourself, pull the nylon safety strap out and when that falls away, the center cable is released and down you go. The wind was always an important factor, for if it switched directions during your descent you had the good possiblity of being blown into the tower superstructure, there to hang until a brave soul climbed up and got you free. I saw this happen, luckily after my turn, it would have scared me to death. The other possibility is that the wind would gain strength suddenly and carry you where you weren't intending to go. Like through the window of a mess hall. This too happened while I was there.

The final 3 days of Airborne School are devoted to actually jumping from a C-130 aircraft. Many people will tell you that after the 2 weeks of the hell period, the jumping is anti-climatic. Not really but you are just glad to get it over with. It is a lot of waiting and soul searching. Will I do OK, will I be a "no go" and chicken out. Some did, most jumped, the kid behind me was crying, I couldn't I was an officer. The experience is exhilirating, particularly when the open the door at 120 knots. The training pays off, the green light comes on and you go. I ended up making close to 100 jumps in my army career, many at night. I was never injured seriously and frankly after all that training I don't think that I ever made one of those "5 point landings". Mine all seemed to be 2 point landings. Feet and butt.

Hot stuff.....

Since the old Memorial Stadium track is closed for upgrades I've had to move my daily walking location to Windlands Park. Around 5 p.m. it's been perfect walking weather, about 102° with no shade. Most assuredly hotter on the dark asphalt trail. The park does have several advantages as it is a bit more interesting than walking around a track 12 times to get 3 miles in and is less crowded with activities; there just don't seem to be many Midlanders interested in 102° walking. With virtually no one else on the trail and with my weight down to a "svelte" 190 lbs. I've also been able to take my shirt off and get a tan like I haven't had in ages, even with 6 o'clock sun. If you are not from these parts, at 6 o'clock we still have almost 3 hours of daylight left this time of year and with not a cloud in the sky, an evening tanning opportunity is available.

I have to say that at about the 2.5 mile mark I do often wonder if I'm going to make it. My thought is that either it will really toughen me up or kill me. If I don't report in here for several days, come out to Windlands Park and look for a mumified, really tan old guy by the side of the trail.

Viewers choice.....

Olé it's the dancer!

Bravo the red chair!

Medical wrap up...

As I've gotten several emails from folks, here's one last post on the medical condition of the Big Gold Dog. Unless something drastic happens. I do get tired of talking about people's or dog's medical conditions. Sometimes it seems like the only topic of conversation. There is my Dad, who although doing well on a daily basis, could have something dire happen at anytime. My Mom has recently been through back problems and "other" complaints that she won't talk about because if we "only knew" how bad they were, we would worry about her. She prefers to do all the worrying. Then there is my cardiac condition. Feeling great, walking 3+ miles a day, down to 190 lbs. but if you've ever had major surgery there is always that remote fear lurking that although the Docs say you are doing marvelously, they really aren't telling you the whole story. All these medical concerns and the other major stress ongoing in my life does make for an extra level of worry about my ticker and makes me want to talk of other things.

But, as to the Big Gold Dog. He started on his oncological medication today, which is a human anti-inflammatory agent that he will take every other day for a month, at which time he will be re-evaluated. The hope is that the medication will keep the tumor at bay or perhaps even shrink it a little. One improvement in the last day is that I no longer notice blood in his urine which has been a worry. He actually is feeling quite well thanks mostly to the steroid compound that he is on which has increased his ability to move his old bones around and eat more than he has in quite a while. We still go on our several block walk each morning and he still loves to sit in the front yard and watch the world go by.

Thanks for your prayers and good wishes.....

Ultrasound diagnosis....

The Big Gold Dog enjoyed the 40 mile round trip to the vet's in Gardendale for his ultrasound scan and he liked meeting new friends and his visit with Dr. Evans. The ultrasound proceedure is simple, short and painless but I wish I had better news, although it was not unexpected. The ultrasound confirmed Dr. Adkins suspicion that a tumor is present in the bladder. The extensive bleeding of last Thursday was caused by a tear in the tumor which was evident in the scan. Tres is urinating without problems now but there is evidence of blood as he finishes up his squating. This, explained Dr. Evans, is caused by the bladder pressing in on the tumor as it is evacuated.

But there is hope. Dr. Evans has consulted with Dr. Adkins about a fairly new medication developed by a veterinary oncologist in Houston that has shown good results in slowing bladder tumor growth. An anti-immflamatory drug, it may even help Tres feel better in his old age. More aggresive treatments are, of course, available but come with "quality of life" issues that would be unacceptable at this stage in The Big Gold Dogs life.

Thanks for all the concern in comments and emails.

Home at last....

The Big Gold Dog is home at last after a very stressful two days for us both. Quite frankly, yesterday morning I had thought that he just might not make it. As he lay in a large pool of blood on the front porch, a permanently imprinted vision of a young man dying in a pool of blood 35 years ago came back to me. Just as 35 years ago, help might come to late, I was going

to have to accept the fact that this is how it would end between my best buddy and me. But as you may have read in the last several posts, God would bless us this time and we were able to get to help in time. Tres is on several different medications, will have an ultrasound scan on Monday and will have to be watched closely, but seems to be feeling well. A trooper of an old dog, he came right in after we got home, got a treat, a big drink of water and went outside directly to the spot of so much tension yesterday and went to sleep under the watchful eye of Daphne.

Some people might not understand, but after some heartbreaking events in my life, to me it just doesn't get any better than to have your best buddy alive and back home.

So the reader does not wonder about Daphne, well she's never had it so good. She's gotten more attention of late than she's ever had, has a new bed, a new collar and will go in for her check up soon. She's also being walked every day and has finally started displaying less neurotic behavior on the leash. She's a good dog.

[and I have to add a special thanks to all the people at Shannon Animal Clinic who also love The Big Gold Dog and took such wonderful care of him. They're the best]

From the Sick Bay...
Just returned from the morning visit with the Big Gold Dog. With the help of antibiotics and anti-inflammatory medication he's feeling great. I took him for a short walk down the kennel corridor, where he urinated normally and with only a slight amount of blood still visible. He felt like eating almost a quarter of a box of small dog treats and didn't want to get back into his hospital bed. Nosiree, he's ready to go home. After a bath, he'll be good to go at about 3 o'clock this afternoon. Daphne and I will be ready for the Big Gold Dog to be back where he belongs. This is good news. On the side of reality, Dr. Adkins has x-rayed him again and feels that the cause of the problem is most likely a tumor. He recommends that we do an ultrasound scan next week to see if we can see more definitively what's going on and make a decision as to the course of action from there. Frankly, there may be nothing that can be done, except to pray, make him comfortable and accept God's plan for us. Acceptance is the key to my serenity today.

Big Gold Dog..
Say a little prayer if you kindly would for Tres, The Big Gold Dog. He's resting now at Shannon Animal Hospital under the magnificent care of our friend and saint, Dr. Greg Adkins. This morning I had trouble rousing Tres to go outside. When I heard him get up and start for the door I walked from the kitchen into the living room and was horrified to see a large pool of blood where he stood. He went outside and immediately collapsed onto the front porch, where I could see yet more blood appearing. At this hour of the morning I had to wait for Greg to get to the clinic and then worry that Tres would even have the energy to get into the car, being far too large to lift by myself. Trooper that he is, however, he finally struggled into the car and we raced to the hospital.

Greg saw us immediatley and determined that the blood was coming not from his rear end as I had supposed but through his urinary tract. The large amount of blood I had seen was actually largely urine with blood in it. Not good none the less. Greg gave Tres intervenous fluids and analyzed the urine/blood sample, finding the white blood cell count to be good, which does not negate a tumor but makes it less likely. As things are now, Greg knows that there is a blockage but the cause could be an infection, a calcium deposit, a broken blood vessel or perhaps a tumor. Greg will be taking X-Rays and doing some other tests while I'm gone.

I'm going to check on the Big Guy at noon. I'll update when we know something more....thanks.

4:15 PM: The signs for Tres are encouraging later this afternoon. He is eating treats and drinking water and wanted to walk around. Good signs. Greg has X-Rayed him and saw nothing major, but noted a spot he could not identify. He's going to re x-ray and possibly keep Tres overnight.

7:15 PM: I spent an hour with the patient tonight. He's feeling better...if eating a can of dog food in 4 bites means anything. He'll stay overnight to see if he still has blood in his urine, and Dr. Greg still thinks he sees some sort of "lump" in his bladder. He'll do another x-ray tomorrow and possibly ultrasound. But Tres is definetly ready to come home. It broke my heart to leave him behind when I left.

Independence Day.....

Friend Gayle Dodson leads the big parade!.

Nothing says the Fourth of July like scary clowns.

..or guys in funky hats who are old enough to know better.

..or barbeque at the Bad Boyz AA group. Bad Boyz is composed of bikers and those with a more "colorful" past than most.

Memorable 4th's......

As holidays go, the 4th of July is one of my favorites. I was thinking today of some of the more memorable ones.

1969: Ft. Sill, Oklahoma. I was at ROTC summer camp, living on a dusty plain in a tent for 6 weeks in 100° heat. We actually got the 4th off and were treated to a stupendous live fire power demonstration by virtually every weapons system in the army. Wow!

1974: Kauai, Hawaii. I had started an Army outrigger canoe team and paddled with them two years. When it was ordered folded I was asked to join a "local" team. I was the only haole [not local] guy on the team. We were racing at Hanalei, Kauai for the 4th. After the race our team had a luau on the beach. Not one of the touristy kind either. Several people were speaking in Hawaiian, something not everyone gets to hear. Magical.


1976: Midland. After being away in the Army for virtually every holiday, birthday, wedding, funeral and from family and friends for six years I was finally home in time for the National Bi-Centennial. I can't describe the feeling.

1986: Midland. The Centennial celebration of the City of Midland. We came out and had a rousing good time with all the old timers I've ever known. They had calf roping in front of the Petroleum Bldg. and Tommy Lee Jones was the grand marshall of the parade. The highlight for me was the 40 mile bike race half way to Rankin and back. Here I am in a rarely seen archival photo. 20 years later and I still look exactly like this.....except 20 older and somehow my biceps now seemed to have shriveled up.